


Guess Who's Coming For Tea

by Rachel1987



Category: Adventures In Wonderland (TV 1992)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:09:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 43,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25122952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachel1987/pseuds/Rachel1987
Summary: The Hare is getting a visit from his mother! This means that she'll be able to meet all his friends for the first time, including his boyfriend, the Mad Hatter. But Hare's mother is pretty demanding...
Relationships: Mad Hatter & March Hare (Alice in Wonderland)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. The Phone Call

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off of Adventures in Wonderland and features implied sex acts between The Hatter and the Hare. They are adorable together and are in love.
> 
> You got a problem with that? Harrumph!

It was a warm Friday in Spring when the Hatter and the Hare made their way to the Hat house from running their errands. They managed to go to the tea shop for some imported teas the Hatter had ordered, the Green Thumb Greenery to pick up plant food for the Hare’s garden, the Market for their weekend tea party essentials and, lastly, the mail box for their mail. Their arms were so full that Hare had to hop the fence and drop his grocery bags on the tea table before opening the gate for his partner.

“After you,” the Hare gestured his arms forward as he bowed enthusiastically, giggling to himself.

“Such a gentleman!” Hatter joked, smiling gratefully as he made his way to the table, unloading his bags on it as well. “I thought we’d never make it back home.”

All the noise made the Dormouse pop out of his teapot. “Are you two done shaking this table? You keep knocking my house of cards over.”

“Sorry, Dormouse,” Hatter said with a nod of his cap. “Won’t happen again.”

With a Queenly “Harumph…”, the Dormouse retreated to his teapot and Hatter returned his attention to Hare, who had already started unpacking the bags from the grocery store.

“Hare, let’s wait to unpack everything. We only just got home and my arms are tired.”

“Shouldn’t your feet be tired?” Hare chortled, looking deep into the paper bag his arm was in. “We didn’t fly home.”

Hatter rolled his eyes, laughing as he took a seat on the table next to Hare, peeking into the bag. “What are you looking for? A little snicky snack?”

Hare pulled a single carrot out of the bag and started munching on it. It was past lunchtime but not quite teatime, so he needed a mid-afternoon snack to keep him going.

Hatter grimaced and smacked his lips at the carrot, deciding he was no longer interested. “Mail time!” He shouted suddenly, lifting his hips off the table and taking a handful of letters out of his back pocket, where he had stored them for the walk home.

“I guess we can go through our mail before we deal with the groceries,” Hare shrugged as he took a seat, putting his feet up on the table. He reached into his jacket and took out a much smaller stack of mail. “That way we can toss the junk into the paper recycling bin while we’re inside making tea.”

“How true that is,” Hatter grinned, fanning his letters out like playing cards, addresses away from him so he couldn’t see who they were from. He liked to keep his mail interesting and not knowing who they were from added to the mystery of it all.

The Hare got a Gardening catalogue, some junk mail and a letter reminding him that he still had time to enter the next Wonderland 5k race before it filled up completely. Maybe this would be the year he’d finally beat the Tortoise! His mind was working a training schedule as he munched on his carrot, returning to his gardening catalogue and flipping through the pages.

The pair were browsing through their letters when the phone on the table started to ring. Neither of them looked up from their mail, but the Hatter reached his long arms out and blindly felt around for the candlestick telephone. He had slapped a bag of oranges and some dishes onto the floor with a crash before he finally found his target.

“Hatter’s hat making services: We’ve got a cap for your cranium, a lid for your dome and a topper for your noodle. This is the Mad Hatter speaking.”

The tall man was silent for a little, nothing but the sound of the crunching of carrots coming from his neighbor. Every once in a while, the Hatter would Uh-huh and nod. After a few moments, he smiled and said, “Well, it was nice talking to you, June. Hare is right here, let me put him on.”

The Hare’s mouth fell open and the carrot clattered to the table on his magazine.

“It’s for you,” the Hatter offered, then mouthed the words “It’s your Mom.”

Hare scrambled, wiping his hands on his jacket before taking the earpiece from Hatter and speaking into the candlestick portion of the phone. “Hello?”

“Sonny!” came a loud, screechy voice from the other end, causing Hare to pull away from the phone a little. “I called your home and left a message, but I knew you’d be there with the Hatter. It’s just about snack time, did you have a little something to keep your blood sugar up?”

Hare looked down at the carrot on the table and flinched, picking it up and tossing it into the bushes. The Hatter had returned to his stack of mail and didn’t notice. He had opened a tub of ice cream and was snacking from it with a small sugar spoon he had found on the table.

“Yes, Mom, I just had a snack,” he rolled his eyes. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?”

“Oh, silly me! I got so excited to hear your sweet little voice that I nearly forgot to tell you why I called!” The Hare could hear her excitement as she spoke. “I’ll be making my way through Wonderland next weekend and I was hoping to stay with you a couple of days. Maybe meet some of your friends, finally meet the Hatter in my little boy’s life. I’ll be arriving by train on Friday.”

If it was possible, the Hare’s jaw dropped even lower. His stomach was filled with butterflies and his palms immediately started to sweat under his gloves. “Oh, well, yeah, sure Mom. That would be great.”

“Marvelous!” she crooned. “I left all the details on your answering machine. Oh, I’m looking forward to some good Mother son time! I just can't wait!”

“Neither can I,” Hare forced a chuckle, before trailing off.

“Well, I’ll let you get on with your day. I’ll see you on friday. And, Hare,” she paused. “Don’t let the Hatter spoil his dinner with that ice cream.”

The Hare furrowed his brow and looked at the phone, before glancing over and seeing that the Hatter had eaten a good portion from the tub of ice cream. He reached forward and put the lid on the tub, hearing the thump of Hatter’s spoon hit it repeatedly as he blindly tried to dip his spoon back in for more. He was still looking through his pile of mail and hadn’t noticed a thing.

“Okay, Mom. I won’t. See you friday.”

“Ta-ta!” she sang, and he returned the handset to the receiver.

“Hatter,” Hare muttered. “My mother is coming!”

“Hm?” Hatter finally looked up from his own pile of mail, sorting the envelopes into colored stacks now. “Well that’s nice.”

“Do you know what this means?” He looked at him, fear in his eyes.

The Hatter continued to look through his mail, not seeming to be paying attention to the Hare at all, when suddenly he gasped and threw all his letters up into the air. “I’m going to meet your mother!?” It wasn’t entirely obvious if he was excited or afraid of the prospect, but he was enthusiastic all the same.

“She’ll be coming through Wonderland in a week and wants to stay with me for a couple days. She says she’s excited to meet all my friends…” Hare rambled out. “And especially wants to meet you in person.”

“Oh, well…” Hatter blushed and brushed a bit of imaginary lint off his shoulder. “Why wouldn’t she?”

“Hatter, I don’t think you understand…” Hare looked up, shaking his head a little. “My mother is very fussy about things. She’ll expect everything to be perfect, especially from me.”

“That shouldn’t be hard, Hare,” Hatter shrugged. “You’re always perfect to me. Even when you pull your little temper tantrums.”

“Aww, thanks,” Hare blushed, waving his hand at him absently. “But we’ll really have to do some work to make things ready for her.”

“We’ll have a tea party in her honor, that way she can meet everyone,” Hatter offered. “I’ll host it here.”

“Excellent idea,” Hare nodded. “We’ll make up invitations and send them out tomorrow. I think I still have some left over from the fondue party fiasco.”

“It’s been so long since I’ve been able to have a good party!” Hatter squealed, kicking his feet out and knocking a bunch of cups and saucers crashing to the floor. The Dormouse stuck his head out of his teapot again and started speaking, but was completely drowned out by the Hatter’s loud voice. “We’ll have food and tea… and music! What kind of music does your mother like? Maybe country? Or Polka? Oh I don’t know, I’m so excited!”

The Hare didn’t seem nearly as eager about everything. He couldn’t shake the nervous feeling in his stomach about it. What the Hatter didn’t know was that his mother would criticise every little thing Hare did. June expected nothing but perfection out of her only child, and that was a lot of weight to carry on his shoulders all the time. He ran a hand through his hair and bit his thumb nervously, his mind racing.

“Hare, aren’t you excited?” the Hatter boisterously jumped up behind him, giving his shoulders a squeeze before slantering through the IN door and returning immediately with a pile of cookbooks. “We should start planning!”

“I think maybe we should put the groceries away first,” Hare suggested. They had cream and perishables that should really be put away before too long. And the ice cream was starting to melt onto the table.

“Righty roo…” Hatter nodded. “That’s why you’re the smart one and I’m the one with impeccable fashion sense.”

Hare managed a chuckle, digging through the bags and sorting everything.

\--

Later that night, after the groceries had been put away and the tea party had ended, the pair were in the attic of the Hat house going through recipe books. Hare was scribbling away at the desk on the invitations, making sure to write up a nice one to put in his mother’s letter he was going to send her. He knew she’d probably like to tuck one away in a scrapbook to show people later.

“How about spinach puffs?” Hatter asked from the floor. He was laying on his stomach, a dozen cook books open around him with dogeared and scribbled on pages.

Hare thought for a moment before shaking his head. “What if spinach gets stuck in your teeth? No, Mother won’t approve.”

Hatter scrunched up his face and flipped a few more pages. “Asparagus spears with bacon?”

“Hatter, asparagus makes your pee smell. Mother won’t like that.”

Hare sure wasn’t making this easy. Hatter lifted his hat and scratched his head before flipping a few more pages. “Jello mold salad?”

“That stuff is sticky, isn’t it?”

Hatter scoffed and slammed the book shut, rolling around the ground in frustration. “Hare! Your mother can’t hate everything! There must be something she likes eating that won’t be messy or gross or smelly! Throw me a bone here!”

“Well, she won’t eat bones either,” Hare replied, not even looking up from the invitation he was working on. “She has soft teeth.”

“That’s it!” Hatter thrust his arms out in the air. “We’re having cucumber sandies and water. I’m done!”

Hare chuckled at his boyfriend, finding him cute despite the flush to his face. “She likes things that won’t get stuck in your teeth or make a mess while you eat it. Cucumber sandwiches are fine and so is the usual tea party spread. But, I’m telling you, she’s picky. We’re going to have quite a time making her happy.”

“Has she always been like this?” Hatter asked, scooting across the room on his knees to the Hare.

“Yeah…” he sighed, leaning back in the chair as Hatter hugged him around the middle and rested his head in his lap. “I was a pretty sheltered kid. Coddled, really. It was just her and I after my Dad left, so she put a lot of effort and time into my activities.”

“So you were a mama’s hare, huh?” Hatter teased.

“You could say so…” Hare shrugged, removing the Hatter’s top hat and setting it on the desk. He ran a gloved hand through his hair, a grin crossing the Hatter’s face as he relaxed at the touch.

The Hatter remained silent for a while, thinking to himself about the Hare growing up alone with his mother. He knew that June was persnickety, but was only now really getting the full picture. This was going to be important to the Hare and he would have to do his best to make a good impression.

“She knows about us, right?” Hatter asked suddenly.

“I wrote about us a while ago, yes. So she knows.”

Their relationship wasn’t necessarily new, they had been friends for years (felt like a lifetime, really), but they had only been officially together for a year or so. 

“Did she say anything?”

The Hare was silent, trying to pick his words. “She wasn’t surprised. She said she knew we were going to end up dating by the way I spoke about you. I don’t write to her about my relationships often, not that I’ve had many.”

“Well that’s good, I suppose… sounds like she’s supportive, anyway.” The Hatter gave the Hare a squeeze before getting to his feet. “You want to stay the night?”

The Hare shrugged. “Sure. I can take my gardening things home in the morning.”

Hatter smiled and nodded, picking up his hat and giving the Hare a soft kiss on the lips while he was bent over. “I’m going to brew some sleepytime tea then. Be back in a jiffy.”

Hare nodded and finished up his last party invitation, looking around the attic while he listened to the Hatter putter around in the kitchen downstairs. The longer he looked around, the more problems he uncovered. “My mother would hate this…” he muttered to himself as he took notice of all the gathered dust and spiderwebs in the corners. Tisking to himself, he put the invitations in his jacket pocket with the intention of mailing them tomorrow, before going downstairs to help the Hatter with the tea.

\--

Hare woke up in the Hatter’s bed much earlier than he had expected to. He had tossed and turned all night, having nightmares about his Mother’s visit and everything going wrong. That simply couldn’t happen. Everything had to go perfectly on her visit. He laid beside the Hatter for a long time, trying to listen to his light snoring in an attempt to let it relax him. It didn’t.

After a little, he had finally had enough contemplation and snuck out of bed. He padded his way to the bathroom, where he brushed his teeth and changed back into his suit from the day before. Normally he wasn’t one to leave without saying goodbye, but he had to get home and check his garden, amongst other things. Plus he would be back later that day anyway.

Scribbling a note on a piece of paper, which he left on the Hatter’s bedside table, Hare waited to put his shoes on until he was out at the tea table.

“Let’s see…” he mumbled to himself as he laced up his yellow high tops. “I’ll go by the mail box on my way home. Check the garden, maybe take a look in the guest room… the whole house will need to be cleaned this week,” he groaned, taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes. For a second he considered going back inside and making a pot of coffee, maybe munching a scone or two, but no. He needed to get things done, there was only a week till his Mother got there.

Heaving a sigh, he got to his feet and scurried through the gate and made his way home with the gardening supplies he had purchased the day before.

\--

“I was disappointed that you weren’t here when I woke up this morning, Hare,” The Hatter said, sipping the tea he brewed to go along with lunch. “Where’d you go off to so early?”

“I mailed the invitations and my Mother’s letter,” the Hare shrugged. “Plus today was weeding day in the garden. I wanted to get that done early so I could spend the rest of the day with you.” He had also managed to grab a shower and do a little cleaning at his place. He had washed all the sheets in his house and they were currently hanging out in his yard to dry so he could set up his Mother’s room.

“I should come see what you’ve done with your garden,” Hatter said with a smile. “It’s been a while since my last visit.”

“Hatter, I’ve been thinking,” Hare said suddenly, making the Hatter look at him with an alarmed look on his face. “I think it would be a good idea for us to give your house a good scrubbing.”

“Oh, and I thought this would be something serious,” Hatter shrugged. “Sure, we can do that. How does our day look next Saturday?”

“No,” Hare shook his head, his ears bouncing a little. “Tomorrow. We need to get it done as soon as possible.”

Hatter cocked a brow, putting his tea down and giving his boyfriend a once over. Hare could be a little bit of a neat freak at times, but he’d never been one to put his foot down about picking things up before. He knew he wasn’t the most perceptive hatter who ever lived, but the anxiety practically oozed from his Hare. This simply wouldn’t do.

“Sure, Hare, whatever you think. But try to relax a little, you look like you’re trying to lay an egg.”

“Rabbits don’t lay eggs, they hide them,” Hare said with a chuckle to himself, enjoying a good bit of bunny humor.

“Well, all the same, we can clean my house tomorrow. No problem. I think my day was wide open anyway.”

Hare nodded and took his notebook out of his jacket, scribbling notes on it as he munched on some celery with his lunch. “Tomorrow we’ll clean your house and finish planning the food for the party, the day after we’ll go back to the grocery and get everything… We’ll have to get our suits pressed, so get any dry cleaning together you want so we can drop that off at the same time… the garden will need to be relandscaped and I’ll have to clean my house at least twice over… I should bring the tea set she sent me for Christmas too, clean those and use them for the party...”

The Hatter listened to the Hare continue to list everything they needed to get done, smirking to himself as he finished off the last bit of the lunchtime tea. He’d think this behaviour was adorable if there wasn’t such a sense of panic about everything. Hare was working his way up into a frenzy and they still had all week to plan and get things done. They needed a distraction.

Wordlessly, the Hatter reached across the table and plucked the notebook from the Hare’s hands, flinging it across the courtyard and into the bushes. The Hare was about to protest when the Hatter took him by the shoulders and kissed him deeply on the lips, tipping his chair over and leaving them smothering one another on the floor.

\--

After an afternoon of distractions (a lot of chasing one another around the house followed by some hanky panky), the pair returned to the Hare’s house to bring in his laundry. It was also decided that the Hare would spend the night at the Hatter’s again so they could get up bright and early to tackle the attic.

“This sheet goes in the guest room,” Hare announced as he passed the pure white folded sheet into the Hatter’s arms. “And this one goes in my room.”

“You don’t usually use white sheets…” Hatter remarked. “Don’t yours have pastel stripes?”

“My mother only likes white sheets,” he explained. “She thinks they look better when you turn them over before going to sleep.”

“But your regular ones are so much fun!” Hatter beamed. “These seem boring and blech…” he then made a face like he had put salt in his tea by accident instead of sugar.

Hare chuckled and nodded in agreement. “Yes, well, this is what Mother would approve of. So…”

“Oh, jeez…” Hatter rolled his eyes. “It’s that kind of thing, huh?”

“Hatter,” Hare breathed with a pause, shaking his head. “You have no idea.”

They entered Hare’s house and made up the beds with the fresh sheets and blankets, adding the family heirloom vegetable quilt from the hall closet to the guest room as a final touch. Hatter gave Hare some privacy as he packed some things into an overnight bag, perusing the bookshelves in the living room as he waited.

“Hare,” Hatter said out loud to him in the bedroom. “Maybe we should bring some of your cookbooks over to my place. The ones with family recipes in them. There’s got to be some scrummy things we can make in there that your mother will like.”

“That’s a good idea,” Hare said loudly from beside Hatter, making him jump a little. “Those are on the top shelf with the orange bindings.”

Reaching up, Hatter grabbed a pair of orange books from the shelf and stowed them away under his arm before turning to the Hare. “Are we ready?”

Hare lifted his overnight bag into view and shook it a little. He also had a box of various tea sets under his other arm. “Gifts from Mom,” he attempted.

“No need to explain,” Hatter said calmly, taking the box from the Hare and following him out the front door.

\--

“My Mom is very particular about things,” Hare said, fixing his little bandana on his head to cover his hair as they cleaned. The sun had only just risen the next day and they were already out of bed, full of breakfast and standing in the messy attic. “We’ll have to clean this house from top to bottom to meet her expectations.”

“But why do we have to clean my house?” The Hatter asked, smoothing his hair down before putting on a painters cap. “Your Mother is staying with you.”

"We want to make a good impression with her,” Hare wheezed. “I want her to like you.”

“What’s not to like?” The Hatter posed, his arms outstretched to show off his lanky physique.

“Your buttons are off…” Hare muttered, moving to unbutton and rebutton his boyfriend’s coveralls.

“Oh…” the Hatter dropped his arms to his sides, letting Hare fix his shirt as he continued. “Do we have to throw things away or just organize them to look like I have less? Because I’d really rather not get rid of anything.”

“Mostly cleaning,” Hare patted the Hatter’s chest, turning and picking up a broom and a dustpan. “Though this attic could use some reorganizing. But we have five days till my Mother gets here, and with everything else we have to do I don’t think we’ll have enough time to re-catalogue everything you have.”

“How true that is,” Hatter nodded, picking up a box and finding an empty fish bowl underneath. “I’ve acquired a lot of new things since we last did that.”

“Maybe I’ll make a note for us to do that soon,” Hare muttered, taking out his pocket calendar and flipping through the pages. “How about a week from Sunday?”

The Hatter thought to himself before shaking his head. “Naw, we have Pun Sunday that day.”

“Right, right…” Hare made an exaggerated X on that page and made a note about Pun Sunday before continuing. “Well, the next opening would be the day after Labor day.”

“Pencil it in and we’ll see if we can’t move that project forward,” Hatter suggested, causing Hare to nod in agreement as he scribbled in his book. 

\--

It took the better part of the day, but by the time teatime rolled around the Hat house had a very clean attic. All the dust and lint had been swept away and they organized it enough that you could almost find you way around up there. The pair was knackered though and almost too tired to even set up the tea party. But, it was expected of them, so they did it.

They decided on a raspberry tea and a matcha tea, in the hopes that one of them would give them a little more energy to carry on the rest of the day. They also had all their sugary treats left over from the day before.

“The next time you suggest cleaning out my attic,” the Hatter moaned, laying across the tea table with a cup in hand. “Remind me to shove you out the window.” He had his coveralls open and his cap on backwards as he sipped his tea, dunking a cookie in his cup before nibbling on it lazily.

Hare chuckled to himself giddily, showing how sleepy he was. “Just remind me to jump out the window.”

“Hi Mr Hatter! Hi Mr Hare!” Alice greeted them from the gate, making both the men jump. “Am I late for the tea party?”

“Hullo, Alice!” the pair greeted in return. “Feel free to join us.”

“Sorry that I don’t hop up and open the gate for you,” Hare apologized. “It’s been a long day and I’m pooped.”

“That's alright, Mr Hare, I can manage” Alice said, noting how filthy their coveralls were as she approached the table. “What have you been up to today?”

“Cleaning…” the Hatter spat out. “It was terrible.”

“I hate cleaning my room too,” Alice laughed, helping herself to the raspberry tea and adding some lemon and sugar to it. “Are you doing some spring cleaning?”

“No, Hare’s mother is coming to town and he insists that we make the place look good for her.”

“Your mother is coming, Mr Hare?” the girl asked excitedly, bouncing in her seat a little. “That’s so exciting!”

“Yes, I’m thrilled…” Hare muttered, sounding less than enthused about the prospect. The idea was growing on him, but so were the butterflies in his stomach.

“When will she be here?”

“Actually,” Hare put his tea cup down and dug into his pocket, pulling out an invitation to the party and handing it to her. “She’ll be here at the end of the week. We’re throwing a special tea party for her, I hope you can come. I meant to give this to you a couple days ago but I got so wrapped up in things I seem to have forgotten.”

“Of course I will!” Alice beamed, taking the invitation and looking over it. “I can’t wait to meet her. Have you met her before, Mr Hatter?”

“Hm?” Hatter shook his head, trying to wake up a little. He’d had a long day and wasn’t his usual peppy self. “No, I haven’t. I mean, I’ve spoken to her on the phone when she calls here to speak to the Hare, but that’s about it. Not more than a few words.”

“You must be nervous to meet her,” the girl guessed. “I’m always nervous when I meet my friends' parents for the first time.”

“Me? Nervous?” Hatter scoffed. “Naw. I’m sure she’ll love me.”

“That’s my Hatter,” the Hare beamed. “Never lacking in self confidence.”

“How true that is,” the Hatter replied with a wink.

“Well, if there’s anything I can do to help, let me know. I love planning parties.”

“How are you with a mop and a bucket? We have the other half of a house that needs to be cleaned and I just can’t force myself to do it,” the Hatter complained. Alice didn’t know if he was serious, but the Hare knew that he was.

\--

They spend the rest of the night finalizing the party menu, Hare taking note of all the ingredients he would have to get at the grocery store later that week. They didn’t dare touch the attic. Now that it was cleaned they didn’t want to have to clean it again after they messed around up there, so they settled down in the living room. They had the Hare’s cook books out and open over the coffee table and they were sharing a bowl of ice cream as they flipped through the pages. They were in their pajamas, Hare in a large t shirt and pants, Hatter in his sleep pants with no shirt on. He was also hatless for once.

“Cherry tomato tartlets, shrimp tapenade canapes and sweet pea and leek tartlets will be enough, right?” Hare asked scratching his head with the rubber end of a large pencil as he looked over the recipe notes he had jotted down in his notebook.

“I think so,” Hatter said around a mouthful of ice cream. “We’ll have the usual spread of cakes and tarts and cookies for dessert…”

“And the crumpets!” Hare interjected.

“And the crumpets. I think we’ll be plenty busy with all this. I don’t think we can fit another item on the menu.”

“You don’t think we should make a carrot cake, do you? It is mother’s favorite.”

“We can scratch the regular tea cakes and make mini carrot cakes with cream cheese frosting.”

“Maybe I’ll order those from Just Add Sugar. I feel like we’re going to be really busy with everything else.”

“Just add it to my regular order there, it’s fine,” Hatter shrugged. “We’ll pick them up on the way to the train station to get your Mother.”

Hare felt grateful that Hatter was so supportive of all his demands. He really couldn’t have asked for a better boyfriend, who would not only put together a full party for his mother but also offer to help prepare and clean every inch of both their houses.

“The Queen would probably like some wine too,” Hatter thought out loud. “Might get her to loosen up a little. Is she still angry with your mother about the quicksand incident?”

“When the Rabbit called to rsvp, I might have overheard the Queen say something about my ‘meddling mother keeping her pinched nose out of her business if she knows what‘s good for her’.”

The Hatter sat silently, thinking for a second before eating another spoonful of ice cream. “Ah…” was all he could muster. “Then wine would be a good idea.”

“Red, of course,” Hare nodded, jotting another item on the grocery list, Hatter nodding in agreement.

“Any other rsvps?”

“Everyone said they’d attend, including the Caterpillar. Which surprised me the most.” The Hare craned his neck and looked into the bowl, eyeing the last bit of ice cream.

“Well, it isn’t every day your mother comes all the way to Wonderland to meet all of us,” Hatter said, pulling the bowl out of reach of the Hare as he moved his spoon in to finish it up. The Hare furrowed his brow and looked at the Hatter with a ‘you’d better not’ expression. The tall man gave Hare a wide, teasing grin. “What will you give me for it?”

“For the ice cream that I put in the bowl that you’ve eaten almost all of?” Hare tilted his head down a little, looking at the Hatter over the rims of his glasses.

“Mhmm…” Hatter nodded, still holding the ice cream hostage.

Hare couldn’t even pretend to be angry with that shit eating grin staring back at him, he found the man far too attractive. But it was his prerogative to play hard to get and he just couldn’t let his Hatter down.

“How about…” The Hare said out loud, before leaning in and whispering something into the Hatter’s ear, letting his whiskers tickle him as he spoke.

Hatter sat upright suddenly, practically threw the ice cream bowl into Hare’s lap and ran to get his blindfolds. “I’ll give you a three second head start to hide!” Hatter shouted from the next room.


	2. Hare's House

Hare wasn’t terribly worried about cleaning the rest of Hatter’s house. Sure, there was stuff scattered in every direction possible, but that wasn’t anything that couldn’t be picked up the morning of his mother’s arrival. Plus, in all honesty, it would be a waste of time cleaning it up now because it would just be messy again by tomorrow morning.

After a breakfast of bacon and eggs with hash browns, toast, fruit salad and English Breakfast tea (Hare had coffee out of his Movie Land mug), the pair spent the rest of the morning swishing up the house in the most cosmetic ways. Hare taught Hatter how to use a vacuum and also the proper way to wipe dust away with a rag.

“For example,” Hare stated, holding the rag in hand as he stood at a bookshelf. “You don’t dust around the items on the shelf, you pick -up- the item and dust under it as well.”

“Will wonders never cease?” Hatter gaped. “I’ve been doing it wrong all these years and never knew it.”

“No, Hatter…” Hare corrected. “You haven’t been doing this all these years. You’ve never even done this before. At least not in the years I’ve known you.”

“How true that is,” Hatter had to agree. “It would be untruthful for me to deny it.”

They cleaned up the Hatter’s place till around noon, stopped to grab a quick bite to eat before moving the party to the Hare’s house.

The Hare’s house didn’t need nearly as much tidying up. Not from the Hatter’s point of view, anyway. Where his house had his things strewn all over the floor, the Hare kept his house more orderly. Everything was in its place and tidy. Sure, maybe there needed some dusting here and there. The place might need to be aired out a little. But overall it wasn’t in need of much work.

“Where do we start?” Hatter asked, looking around the small living area. Everything seemed to be in order to him. The floors were clear of messes, you could see both the entryway and area rugs by the sofa, and all the books were standing up the right way on the shelves.

“Maybe wipe down the windows and switch out the throws for the ones in the hall closet,” Hare said, hands on his hips as he looked around, assessing what needed to be done to his living space. “The beige ones.”

“Righty roo,” Hatter said with a nod. After all the work they’d done at his place, he now knew the proper way to wipe down surfaces and the Hare could trust him enough to do that. Hare’s keen eye spotted a few other problems (the rugs needed beating and the pillows would all need to be washed) but he wasn’t going to throw all that on the Hatter. Not after all the work they had just done at his house.

“Maybe you can get the cobwebs in the corners too, I can’t reach those.”

The Hatter had the mental image of him lifting the Hare up to help him reach the corners of the room and he chuckled to himself. “Anything else?”

“Naw,” Hare shook his head. “I’ll get started in the kitchen.”

The Hatter was left to his own devices and he did a good enough job. He found the bland throws in the hall closet and put those on the dated upholstered sofa and lazy boy, folding up the colorful ones and putting them away.

The Hare was in the kitchen switching out all the mugs on the cup rack when the Hatter found him next. He had a white mug with the words “I yam what I yam” around a picture of a sweet potato in his hand when the Hatter snuck up on him. “I always liked that mug.”

Hare chuckled and looked at it briefly, putting it in the cupboard and replacing it with a delicate cup with handpainted flowers around the sides. Hatter scrunched up his face as he started to notice that the zany personality that Hare usually projected on his little abode was being hidden away. All the brightly colored blankets were replaced by earth tones or flowery ones and the wild dishware (his favorite set was the one of the kitchen kabaret, displaying various foods with goofy grins and poses) were being stowed away as well.

“Hare, why are you hiding all your things?” Hatter asked, picking up a mug that was covered with carrots, radishes, turnips and onions with the words ‘we’re rooting for you’ in purple lettering on it. “Your mom would love this!”

“No, she wouldn’t,” Hare sighed, taking the mug out of his boyfriend's hand and replacing it back in the cupboard. 

“Well, what’s wrong with it? I think it’s cute. And punny to boot!”

“It isn’t…” Hare had to think, scrunching his face up a little. “She likes things that look classy. Clean. Think more… Good Housekeeping. Country chic. This looks childish and stupid.”

“But you like it, don’t you?” Hatter tilted his head to the side a little, leaning his hip against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest. He had always been a bit of an oddball and his parents always nourished that in him. The thought that anyone, especially your mother, wouldn’t want you to be yourself was completely foreign to him. “Shouldn’t she like that you like it?”

“Not my Mom,” Hare shook his head. “She’ll ask if I have anything more ‘appropriate’.”

Hatter scrunched up his face again, pursing his lips a little as he wandered into the next room. He was starting to feel a bother and wanted to let the Hare get back to work. He was wiping down fixtures with a rag, sweeping the dust away, looking at all the photos and nicknacks around the Hare’s house. In all honesty, he never really looked around the Hare’s place all that much. They were mostly at the Hat house and the limited amount of time he’d spent here was usually just to run in and get a couple things. In the year that he’d been romantic with Hare, he’d only slept here a handful of times.

“I’m going to get started in the bathroom,” Hare announced from the hall. He had taken his jacket off and rolled his sleeves up to just above his elbows. His tie was off and he had it balled up in his hands as he gazed across the room at him, the button of his collar undone. Hatter thought he looked particularly irresistible, like a working man about to unclog a toilet.

“I’ll join you,” he replied, throwing the rag over his shoulder to land on the circular rug as he followed him.

They went down the hall and through Hare’s bedroom and into his private bathroom. All of Hare’s bath toys were strewn about the room and his jumbo bathtub needed a good scrubbing. There were still wet towels on the floor and what looked like carrot tops mixed in amongst his rubber duckies.

“Why do you have to be such a water baby?” Hatter asked the Hare, who blushed a little and shrugged. “We should just build you a pool.”

The Hatter removed his jacket and rolled up his sleeves as well, getting down to work on the soap scum in the tub. Between the two of them, they had managed to scrub every inch of the bathroom in under an hour, though it left them both sweaty and in need of showers. All the various bath toys had been stacked neatly or hung up on the wall and Hare had Hatter switch out the brightly colored shower curtain that was covered with snorkeling ducks with one that had simple green and yellow stripes along the bottom edge.

“Now that’s it’s clean,” the Hatter said from his seat on the edge of the tub. “Wanna get it dirty again?”

Hare rolled his eyes and wiped down the mirror, opening the medicine cabinet and straightening up things in there as well. He made sure to put away any unnecessary items from the counter, as well as the pair of toothbrushes. The last thing Hare wanted was for his mother to see the Hatter’s purple toothbrush next to his yellow one.

“We still have the guest bathroom to do…” Hare groaned.

“Can’t we stop down for tea?” Hatter whined, taking off his hat and fanning himself with it.

Hare looked at the Hatter, a pang in his heart. He was putting him through so much and making him work so hard, he was feeling guilty. “Sure, pal,” he smiled. “You get the tea brewing and I’ll just spruce up the other bathroom real quick. It’ll just take a minute.”

Hatter didn’t believe ‘it would just take a minute’, but wanted to get out of that bathroom and away from cleaning supplies for a while. “Anything tickle your fancy?”

“Whatever is fine with me,” Hare shrugged, stretching his neck as the Hatter gave him a peck on the cheek on his way out.

“Okay. Don’t take too long, I don’t want to have to come find you.”

“Isn’t the chase half the fun for you?” Hare asked out loud, getting an “Oh, Hare!” from the Hatter. They went down the hall and Hare turned left into the guest bathroom while Hatter turned right and to the kitchen.

\--

Nearly an hour later, Hare entered the kitchen wiping his hands on the rag he found on the ground in the livingroom to find the Hatter propped up at the kitchen table, his arm crossed, taking a nap. His chin was against his chest and his hat was tipped down to cover his eyes. It had seemed that the tea had brewed and he had waited for the Hare to join him but he took too long.

Hare smirked and shook his head, taking a look at his watch. It was nearly 4 o’clock and they had been cleaning almost non stop since nine this morning. No wonder Hatter was tired.

Heaving a sigh, he took a seat at his kitchen table and picked up one of the finger sandwiches the Hatter made while waiting for the water to come to a boil, nibbling on it casually. It wasn’t ordinary for them to be doing such mundane things. Usually they were inventing things together or getting into mischief or just causing general mayhem for their friends. But this was different and Hare kind of liked it. It felt domestic. He started to daydream about what it would be like to grow old with the Hatter and his heart swelled a little. This was something he could get used to.

A sudden snore and grunt pulled him from his thoughts and he looked over at the Hatter, who pushed his hat up from covering his eyes, giving Hare a sheepish grin. “Did I nod off?” he asked sleepily.

Hare nodded. “I took too long cleaning. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Hatter said with a stretch of his long arms and legs. He smacked his lips and rubbed the back of his neck, mumbling “Did you manage to get the tea while it was still hot? It’s zesty orange.”

Hare thought to tell the truth, but lied. “It was good, thanks.”

“So, are we done yet?” Hatter asked, scratching his chest sleepily. “What else do we need to get done?”

“My bedroom needs to be spruced up,” Hare shrugged, picking apart the finger sandwich and just eating the veggies from it. “Plus I have a couple things I’d like to do after you go home tonight.”

“No sleep over?” Hatter pouted. “How will I sleep without my Hare by my side?”

“I think you’ll manage okay,” Hare chuckled. “You’ve done a lot of work today.”

“How true that is,” he nodded in agreement. “This is more cleaning than I’ve done in the past five years combined.”

They cobbled together a makeshift tea party out of what the Hare had in his kitchen, heating up the zesty tea again and they stopping down for an hour or so. The Hatter wondered if anyone had shown up at his house for his regular tea party, only to be sent away by the Dormouse. The Hare didn’t care and liked that it was just the two of them for a change.

After they finished their break, they moved back into Hare’s bedroom to finish their chores. Hatter was rooting around in the Hare’s closet, trying not to make it obvious that he was snooping around, when he pulled out a red sparkly cape.

“I remember making this!” he shouted, holding it out and admiring it at an arm's length. “We had a lot of fun cutting out the stars and moons for the collar, didn’t we?”

The Hare looked up from his desk, holding up a wastepaper basket that was filling up with random papers from the drawers. He had just thrown away a note that was taped to his computer screen with a reminder to write his Aunt May a thank you letter when the Hatter took out the cape.

“Oh, yeah! Amazing Hair-raising Hare! I think the trunk should be in there somewhere too!”

“Found it!” The Hatter thrust the trunk up into the air, carrying it to the bed and plopping it down. This is what Hare had to put up with yesterday in the attic. Everything had a story and that’s why it took them all freaking day to get one room done. But there was a charm to it and the Hare didn’t mind all that much.

“Oh boy!” Hatter said as he dug through the trunk, pulling all manner of magic items out of it. An E-Z Magic Tricks book, a large top hat, playing cards, dice, foam balls, magic rings, flags, fake flowers, and magic wands all came toppling out by Hatter’s hand. So did a bunch of balloons and, to Hare’s surprise, some white doves. Hatter started pulling out a water torture escape box when Hare ran over to stop him.

“Okay, okay! Hatter enough!” he waved his hands at his partner, causing him to pause. “You’re making a mess.”

“Oh,” Hatter stopped and laughed at himself. “Sorry!” He dropped the escape box back into the trunk and it disappeared into obscurity. “Guess I got a bit carried away there.”

“I’ll say,” Hare nodded. “Oh look! My handcuffs!” He thrust his hand into the trunk and pulled out 20 pairs of handcuffs, all linked together.

“Those were some good times, huh?” the Hatter nudged Hare in the ribs, making his face go beet red. Hatter smiled at him for a second, before doing a double take and shaking his hands in the air, his own face going pink as he stammered. “Not- Wh- No...I mean when you handcuffed half of Wonderland together!”

“That was pretty funny…” Hare giggled. “The Queen got so mad at me, she didn’t speak to me for a whole week!”

“Say!” Hatter slapped his hands together, his eyes glistening with an idea. “What if we put on a talent show for your Mom?”

Hare’s mouth gaped open, not knowing if this was a joke or not. “What?” Because he needed one more thing to worry about with his mother, a talent show?

“Oh, come on Hare!” Hatter schmoozed, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and giving him a squeeze. “I’m sure your mother would love nothing more than to see your magic act!”

“Well, I guess. But-”

“‘I’m sure we could get everyone in on it. The Tweedles could do a dance, Alice could recite poetry… I could perform one of my guitar numbers. I’m sure we could even get the Caterpillar to tell a story or two!“

“I don’t know,” Hare looked away and bit his lip. It was tempting, he’d wanted to get back into working on his magic act, but he already had so many things going on with his mother. The thought of adding one more thing made him break out in a sweat over his entire body. But the Hatter looked so excited about it, he didn’t want to let him down either. “I suppose we could see if anyone is interested.”

“That’s my hare!” Hatter shouted, pounding him on the back, sending him forward a little and on the bed. “I’ll take care of everything. You just show up with your act and leave everything to me. We’ll do it Saturday night, that way you can have all day with your Mom. You’ll probably need a break from her at that point anyway, you’ll be happy to get away.”

Hare righted himself and shrugged his shoulders, nodding in agreement. “I think that would be alright. She would probably like it.”

“It’s settled then! I’ll make the rounds and talk to everyone about it tomorrow.” Hatter beamed, feeling like he was doing something on his own to help for once. The Hare felt his stomach give a turn as the butterflies inside turned into birds.

\--

The longer the Hare spent at his house, the more he realized he needed to get done. It took them another hour to clean out his bedroom, organizing his closet into seasonal attire and then by color. All his socks had to be rematched up correctly and his naughty joke books had to be hidden away under a floorboard.

At one point in the night, Hatter decided he wanted pizza for dinner, so he ran out to get some. By the time he returned, he had eaten half of it and the Hare was getting so nervous he had no appetite. He kept glancing at the clock, watching the time go by, wishing for the first time in his life the Hatter would go home so he could get back to cleaning and prepping his house. 

It suddenly came to his attention that he had three days before his mother arrived, and now he had to worry about throwing together a magic act to show her. He knew he was a screwup when it came to his magic, he was still a novice and not very good at all. After he bumbled up the handcuff trick he had also managed to make all the Queen’s birthday presents disappear a month later. They never found the gifts and Hare was certain the Queen still held that over his head.

It was past 10 o’clock when the Hatter decided he’d had enough and went home.

“I’ll swing by in the morning,” Hatter yawned, standing at the door with Hare. He had his tophat on but was holding his jacket over his shoulder. “You sure you don’t just want me to stay? Or you can come home with me.”

“No, I’ll be fine,” Hare squeaked, his hands behind his back as he bounced nervously on his heels. “You go home and get some rest. See you in the morning.”

“Okay,” Hatter nodded, bending down and giving Hare a kiss on the mouth.

Hare wiggled his nose at him playfully before the tall man turned and made his way home. The door was swung shut and Hare heaved a giant sign, leaning his back against the wooden barricade. He removed his glasses and rubbed his tired eyes, making his way to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. He had a long night ahead of him.

\--

The Hatter knocked on his boyfriend’s front door the next morning, taking a peak in the basket he had in the crook of his arm as he waited for an answer. He had made some breakfast rolls and decided that after all the hard work he had been doing to get everything ready for his mother’s visit, Hare deserved to be surprised with breakfast in bed. When there wasn’t any reply, he knocked again, brow furrowed as he heard clanking coming from inside.

“What in Wonderland…” the Hatter muttered as he tried the handle, finding it was unlocked. Letting himself in, he was smacked in the face by the smell of cleaning solutions. Hatter wheezed and covered his nose with a gloved hand, making his way further into the little house. It didn’t take him long to find the source of the noise and the smell.

Hare was still in his suit from yesterday, his sleeves rolled up and an apron around his waist. He was up to his pits in dishes, every countertop covered in freshly washed dishware. It looked like he had completely emptied his cupboards and scrubbed every item he had. Plates, cups, pots, pans, and silverware were scattered everywhere. There was also a mop and a bucket in the corner, it appeared he had scrubbed all the floors overnight as well.

“Hare!?” Hatter gasped, his mouth hanging open. “Did you sleep at all last night? What’s going on?”

The Hare whirled around, his glasses going askew as he focused on his boyfriend. Righting his spectacles with a sudsy hand, he sighed. “No… I’ve been drinking coffee all night. I have too much to do to sleep.”

Hatter had had enough. “This is the last straw…” he shook his head and put his snack basket atop a pile of dishes on the table. “Do you have to sleep at my house for me to make sure you’re actually sleeping at night? This is totally and completely unacceptable.” The Hatter forcefully took Hare by the shoulders and moved him to a wooden chair, pushing him to make him sit. He could almost feel his shoulders shaking with all the caffeine in his system. “If this is the way you’re going to be, you need to call your mother and tell her not to come. You’re driving yourself up a wall.”

Hare gasped loudly and put a hand to his mouth. “No! I couldn’t do that! She’ll be here day after tomorrow!” He moved to get to his feet, only to be shoved back into his chair.

“Where did I put your magician’s kit with all those handcuffs in it? I’m going to tie you to this chair until I get some food in you.” The Hatter stormed into the next room, leaving the Hare alone in the kitchen.

“Hatter, you’re overreacting. I’m fine!” Hare whined, massaging his temples with shaking hands.

“I’m overreacting?” Hatter shot back, returning to the kitchen with, not handcuffs, but an overnight bag. He had shoved some pajamas and clothing in it and was buckling it shut as he spoke. “Hare, you stayed up all night washing dishes after we spent the past two days doing nothing but cleaning both our houses. You’re so worried about what your Mother thinks about you that you drank enough caffeine to send you with the Cow over the moon. You’re acting crazy, even for me! And I’m the mad Hatter!”

The Hare’s shoulders were trembling, whether it be from stress or all the pent up energy in his system. Hatter stopped what he was doing, reaching over to the basket and grabbing an egg breakfast roll and squatting down in front of Hare in his seat. He silently offered it to him, waiting for him to take it. It took a few moments before he finally did. 

Hatter shook his head out of irritation and grabbed another chair, scooting it close to Hare so they were facing each other, their knees touching. “You need to talk to me, pal. What’s going on with you? You’ve got me worried. You’ve never not told me about your feelings. In fact, you usually tell me how you feel even when I’m not interested. Spill it.”

Hare nibbled at the roll, pushing his glasses up his forehead as he rubbed his eyes tiredly. “My Mother expects a lot out of me. The reason I moved to Wonderland was to get away from her and her expectations and demands. I love her with all my heart and would do anything for her, but the pressure of being perfect at everything…” he sighed. “When I’m around her, I can’t be myself. She’s strict and disciplined. Nothing is ever carefree.”

“Gosh…” Hatter started, putting a hand on his friend’s knee for support. “She sounds worse than the Queen.”

Hare shook his head. “No, she isn’t all that bad. She just wants things done a certain way, her way, and she doesn’t like it when I mess up. And I mess up… a lot.”

“Tell me about it,” joked the Hatter. “You mess up with me every day, and half the time it isn’t even my fault.”

“But with you, it’s fun. We brush it off and continue on. With my Mom, it turns into this whole learning experience and she gives me this look of disappointment. As if she knows I could do better. But I don’t know if I can. I just want to make her proud and I don’t feel like I can. All I do is mess things up.”

Hatter sat back a little and sighed, trying to think of something to say that could comfort and help him. He hated seeing his hare like this, it broke his heart. The usually jovial bunny was nearly in tears because he felt he wasn’t good enough, when the Hatter saw him as the best thing in the world. 

“Oh, pal…” was all the Hatter managed before the Hare flung himself into his arms, dropping the breakfast roll onto the ground. Hatter gasped a little but quickly recovered and held onto him tightly, just letting them hold one another. “It’ll be okay,” Hatter whispered, rubbing the Hare’s back softly as he sat in his lap.

After a few minutes, Hare pulled away, looking more tired than ever. Hatter scoffed and shook his head.

“You’re going to go take a nap and I’ll finish all this up.”

There wasn’t a question about it and the Hare knew better than to argue. He nodded and removed his glasses with one hand, rubbing his eyes tiredly with the other. The pair made their way to the bedroom, where Hatter tucked him into bed, still in the suit he had worn the previous day. The door was kept cracked open a little as the Hatter put an apron on to finish up the work in the kitchen.


	3. Errands

A few hours later, Hatter pushed the bedroom door open with his elbow, a tray in his hands. Hare stirred, groaning as he flopped around in bed, tangled up in his sheets.

The tall man entered the room and crept to Hare's side of the bed, placing the tray on the bedside table as he took a seat. Reaching a gloved hand out, he touched Hare's shoulder and shook it softly. "Hare… Hare, it's time to get up." Hatter's palms itched as he sat there, forcing himself to remain calm. His instincts were making him want to body slam down on the bed and squeeze Hare till he woke up.

Feeling the touch on his shoulder, Hare opened his brown eyes slowly, looking around with blurry vision. "What time is it?" he muttered, voice dry from sleeping with his mouth open. He flipped over onto his back and sat up, reaching out for his glasses. His hand clanked against a teapot, two cups with saucers and a plate of reheated breakfast rolls.

"Might be a little past breakfast, but it isn't too late for lunch," Hatter said with a smile, reaching out and nabbing the glasses from the table, handing them to Hare.

"How long have I been asleep?" Hare yawned, pushing his glasses up onto his nose. His hair was frazzed out (more than usual) and he still looked tired, but he was at least coherent. It seemed the caffeine had worked through his system too.

"Only a couple hours, nothing to worry about," Hatter soothed him, filling one of the cups with hot tea and passing it to his friend after adding some sugar and lemon.

Hare gave him an uneasy glance and took the cup, sniffing it before taking a sip. "Camomile…" he smiled, taking a larger swig.

Hatter waited till the cup was mostly empty before speaking again. "I put everything away out there and did one final check of the house, it's all in order. You don't have to worry about cleaning anything else today."

Hare moved to protest, but Hatter gave him a 'you'd-better-not' look, so he sat still, finishing up the tea before helping himself to more.

"I also took the liberty of airing the place out and watering your garden," Hatter beamed, very proud of himself in taking charge. He had omitted the fact that he had found an old diary of Hare's and read it while laying the wrong way on his sofa.

"Thank you," Hare replied, stirring more sugar into his cup. "You've been a busy Hatter this morning."

"Anything for you, old buddy," Hatter shrugged, brushing some imaginary lint off his sleeve before also helping himself to some tea. "Now all we need to do is get you showered and packed and we'll go back to the Hat house for a day of relaxation."

Hare snorted and choked on his tea, trying not to spill any of it as he placed his cup back on the tray. "Go to the Hat house? But I've still got things to do here! I haven't cleaned out the fridge or the basement and-"

Hatter shook his head and put a finger to the Hare's lips to shush him, giving him a stern look. "Your mother won't look in the fridge and we'll lock the basement door so she won't go into it."

"But-" Hare started, Hatter's finger still against his front teeth as he tried to speak.

"Hare, your house is clean and, to be frank, I don't trust you on your own anymore after that stunt you pulled last night."

Hare crossed his arms in an imitation of Rabbit and leaned back against his headboard. "I hate it when you try to be Frank… I prefer when you act like John if you can't be the Hatter."

Hatter rolled his eyes and scooted closer to the Hare, offering him a breakfast roll as a peace offering. "Yes, well, I can't be John all the time."

Hare took the roll and nibbled at it, only realizing how hungry he was after he gobbled it down.

"Anyway," Hatter waved a hand. "We'll get you showered and pack you a bag and you'll stay at my place till your Mother shows up. That way I can keep an eye on you and we can finish all the party planning. And you can figure out what you'd like to do for the magic act."

"Oh, right… that," Hare said, losing his appetite again as he placed his third roll back on the plate, half eaten. In the hustle and bustle of last night, he had forgotten that he'd agreed to the talent show and a magic act for his mother.

"I've already asked everyone and they've all agreed to perform," Hatter announced. "Well, I've spoken to everybody but Alice, but I don't think she should be a problem. She always likes to have fun with us no matter what we're doing."

"Too late to back out now, huh?" Hare said aloud, more to himself than anybody else.

"Now don't be a killjoy," Hatter said, patting Hare on the knee before getting to his feet. "I'll start getting these dishes done, why don't you go take a shower? You smell like dish soap and Pine-sol."

Hatter left Hare to himself, who pouted a little and sat alone in his room for a few minutes, listening to him the kitchen. He sat there till he heard a crash and then a soft "damn" from a husky voice, making him shake his head.

"Oh gawwwwd…" Hare rubbed his eyes and caught a whiff of himself, deciding that he did need a shower after all.

* * *

"Don't forget your magic trunk too!" Hatter said, laying across the bed with his feet up in the air, a Rubik's cube in his hands as Hare packed his duffel bag.

"Already got it," Hare said absently, folding up another yellow shirt and placing it neatly in his bag. He only needed a couple days worth of clothes, but he was packing more than he needed because he never knew when he'd need to change at the Hat house. They usually got up to some mischief that ended in someone getting filthy and the idea of having to do laundry wasn't overly appealing. "Maybe I should just do my juggling act… or play my tuba. I don't know if magic is such a good idea."

"Naw, your Mom has seen you do those things," Hatter said, tossing the Rubik's cube onto the floor in frustration. He'd managed to get three sides done, but the last three were proving to be more difficult. "Or fit those into your magic act."

The Hatter seemed stuck on seeing some magic performed by the Amazing Hair-raising Hare, so he supposed that's what he'd have to do. Scrunching up his face, he opened his magic trunk and threw his bowling pins, juggling balls and tuba inside.

"Where'd those doves go?" Hatter asked, leaning over and peeking into the trunk. He reached an arm in and swatted around blindly, fingers brushing against objects in the darkness. Hare shook his head and was about to say how there weren't any birds inside when four more flew out. "Aw, nuts… sorry."

"It's okay, I'll get more…" Hare muttered in astonishment, taking another look deep into the trunk.

"Well…" Hatter said loudly, pushing himself up off the bed and onto his feet, planting the landing like a gold medal gymnast. "Anything else or are we ready to go?"

"Uh, I don't think so. I'm ready."

"Righty roo," Hatter said, linking his arm with the Hare and leading him through the house and out the front door.

* * *

The rest of the day was one of forced relaxation. Hatter took Hare back to the Hat house and insisted that they do nothing the entire rest of the day. They'd bring in dinner and watch television or read comics and just laze around. They had spent the past few days doing nothing but cleaning, they deserved a little time to not do anything. There were a few times when Hatter caught Hare straightening up and whatever he was doing was taken out of his mits and he was forced to return to the sofa and watch another television show. By the 4th episode of Dodo's Do The Strangest Things, he thought he'd go crazy.

Of course, they did have their usual tea party at 4 o'clock, that was non negotiable. Alice and the Tweedles decided to join them and after the tea party they threw a softball around the tea table and spoke about nothing in particular, which was nice.

June's visit was specifically not mentioned, for fear that it would aggravate Hare. Therefore, Hatter made a special effort to squash any mention of her, in the most exaggerated fashion, of course. Hare thought he was overreacting, but also secretly appreciated it. Truth was, he was really tired from the past few days of hard labor. He had overdone it and did need a break. So, while he pouted and huffed and puffed about everything, he was hiding how much he enjoyed being doted on.

They brought in Chinese food for dinner (with oolong tea and miso soup) and ate it with chopsticks. They fought over who would get which fortune cookie and made fun of what the paper slips said inside. More tea was brewed, they watched _Some Like it Hot_ and argued over who would make a more attractive woman if they were in the starring roles of the film.

"No, I would," Hatter argued, pulling his pajama pants leg up and resting his bare limb onto the low coffee table. "Look at these gams! They go on for miles!"

"No no no no," Hare shook his head and wagged his finger a little. "You may have the legs, but I have much more vavoom in the rear end department."

"How true that is," Hatter said, wiggling his eyebrows provocatively after craning his neck back and taking a look, causing Hare to laugh out loud and throw popcorn at him.

When they finally made their way to bed late into the evening, Hare couldn't wipe the smile from his face. After all the work and trouble he had put Hatter through, this was the day he didn't know they'd needed. He had almost completely forgotten about his mother coming and the talent show that he still had to plan for. Everything felt like it had returned to normal.

He cuddled into the Hatter and smiled very contentedly as they fell asleep wrapped up in one another.

* * *

The next morning Hare decided it would be a good idea for him to go for a jog to clear his head and get his focus back. He was honestly thinking of signing up for the Wonderland 5K and he thought that maybe going for a bit of a run would do him some good. It would be good to dust off his running shoes and see if he still had it in him.

He raided the attic, making sure to leave the room just as clean as when he had found it. Honestly, he was surprised that the Hatter had avoided the room as well as he had been. The place was still pretty spick and span, even a few days after cleaning. After a little bit of digging, he found one of his yellow sweatsuits and a pair of running shoes in a trunk.

Hatter was in the kitchen rummaging around for a clean kettle to start brewing the morning tea when Hare appeared in his jogging suit.

"Oh…" Hatter gave him a once over with some interest. "Going for a run, huh?"

"Yeah, I thought it'd be a good idea. Help me clear my head." Hare said in the most nonchalant way he knew how, taking a seat at the kitchen table to lace up his sneakers.

"You want me to come with?" The lack of enthusiasm was noted in Hatter's voice, it sounded like he'd almost rather wash all the dishes he had in _his_ house than go for a run.

"No, you don't have to," he replied, wiping a scuff off his sneaker before leaning back into his chair a little. "It'll just be quick, only a couple miles. I'll be back in fifteen minutes, tops."

"Okay…" Hatter drawled, filling up the kettle and setting it on the stove, clicking the burner on underneath it. "I'll have breakfast ready for you when you get back. Anything sound scrummy to you? I think I have some eggs in the ice box."

"Eggs would be nice," he agreed, getting to his feet and lifting onto his toes to give Hatter a smooch on the cheek. "Time me?"

"I'll, uh... count the seconds," Hatter said, altering his voice and trying to sound as gushy as possible.

Hare rolled his eyes and made his way through the OUT door. He paused at the stone gate, using it to prop his leg up as he stretched a bit, planning his route for the morning. He'd start around the Hat house, through the forest to the Palace, maybe see if Caterpillar was around…

After stretching, he bounced on his feet a little, trying to warm up some before taking off at a smooth pace.

He tried to keep his head as clear as possible as he ran, attempting to take in the scenery. It was too early for him to really run into anybody, but he could sense the signs of life within the various dwellings he passed. He could hear the music coming from the Tweedles house, knowing they were probably up and doing their morning dance routines. He could smell breakfast being cooked when he passed the palace, the scent of bacon and waffles making him want to stop and reach his hand in through the kitchen window to grab some.

"Wouldn't Rabbit be surprised?" he thought to himself with a laugh.

He made sure to weave his way through the Caterpillar's mushroom forest, hoping that he wasn't too early to catch him awake. He was lucky today. The large insect was already up, packing books into a fabric bag to be returned to the library. It seemed he was on his way out.

"Good morning, Caterpillar!" Hare huffed as he jogged up, slowing down a little upon approach.

"Ah, Mr Hare. Good morning. Out for a morning run, I see." The Caterpillar was only marginally interested, which was usual.

Hare nodded and bounced around in place to keep his heart rate up, having worked up a sweat from his trek through the forest. The Caterpillar glanced at him silently, just the look of this bounding bunny making his bulky form feel tired.

"Can I help you?" Caterpillar finally asked, after a long awkward pause.

"Oh, right," Hare stopped hopping around, taking a seat on a large mushroom. "I was wondering if I could talk to you about something if you aren't busy. I need your help."

"I'm always busy, I have many things that I do that get no attention whatsoever," the six armed insect said, waving all of his right hands at the wrist at once. "But let's see what I can do for you. What's on your mind?"

"Well, as you know my Mother is coming to visit and I'm worried about impressing her. She expects me to be perfect and I just don't think I can deliver. I'm afraid she won't like my lifestyle choices."

"Well, you do live an… alternative lifestyle," Caterpillar droned, emphasizing the word alternative. "But everything you've said in the past about your mother has always been quite positive. What makes you think she won't approve of what you do?"

"Well, she expects me to be perfect all the time," he replied with a shrug. "I don't want to disappoint her."

"Do you think that maybe your mother doesn't expect you to be perfect, but believes that you are in fact perfect as you are?"

Hare paused and laughed at this notion, shaking his head. "If only that were the case!" he explained from his spot upon the mushroom. "She's always pushing me to do more, not to back down… and I'm afraid that I'll mess up and she won't be proud of me."

"Hmm. I see…" the Caterpillar put a gloved finger to his lips, nodding. "This does seem to be a tricky situation for you."

"You wouldn't happen to have a story to tell me, would you?" Hare asked reaching out and peeking into the bag of books the second pair of hands were holding, only to be slapped away.

"No, I'm afraid I don't…" he replied. "But I do have some words of wisdom that may help you."

Hare sat up at attention, listening eagerly.

"A wise man once said, 'A mother's love endures through all'," the Caterpillar said, waiving a finger around in the air as he spoke to punctuate his point. "I think you should be yourself, let your mother see the real you and let her love you for it. Because, after all, you are the only person who can be you."

Hare's shoulders drooped in disappointment, though he tried to hide it. He had wanted a different answer. "So, you're saying that I'm worrying for nothing."

"Precisely," Caterpillar said with a smile.

Hare huffed a little and stood up, brushing himself off as he thought to himself. "Thanks for the help, Caterpillar. I'll have to think about it some more."

Caterpillar watched Hare jog off through the mushroom forest, disappearing behind a tall purple fungi before speaking aloud to himself. "I pray for that woman and what she might experience in that house."

* * *

"25:40!" said a voice as Hare stumbled into the Hat house, sweaty and a little out of breath.

"What?" Hare asked, his glasses a little foggy as he looked around the room, trying to find the source of the voice.

"You're time," Hatter said, checking his pocket watch again with a nod. "Yup… 25:40."

"Man, I'm out of shape…"

"I think you're the perfect shape," Hatter said aloud with a smile.

Hare chortled and waved a hand at the Hatter, stumbling his way to the kitchen table and taking a seat. Hatter might have seen a blush on his partner's cheeks, if he wasn't already flushed from running. "I stopped and spoke to the Caterpillar for a little," Hare explained, wiping his glasses on his sweater before replacing them.

"Did he tell you a story? Please share," he said with a smile, dishing up an egg and tomato omelet, bacon and hash browns onto a plate for the Hare and sliding it his way.

"No, not a story. Just some crummy advice."

"Well, that's no fun," Hatter pouted. "What's the fun of visiting the Caterpillar if you don't get a good story out of it?"

Hare shrugged and tucked into his meal, partaking in some toast and strawberry jam with it. He'd asked for some coffee, but was firmly denied any, and settled on Raspberry tea with sugar.

* * *

Later that day, the pair were outside at the tea table enjoying the nice spring weather. Hatter had his guitar on his knee and was tuning it, strumming the strings and adjusting the tuning keys as he worked. Hare had his magic trunk out and open, its contents spilling onto the table. He had his EZ Magic Tricks book open and was reading through it, trying to find just the right illusions to add to his act. His nerves were getting frayed again and he was starting to feel overwhelmed.

Hatter noticed this and rested his hand on the guitar, watching Hare flip through the same five pages of the magic book. "You know…" he started, making him jump a little at the sudden sound of his voice. "I can help you choose, if you want help."

Hare wanted to resist the help, but accepted it. Hatter laid the guitar down on the table and scooted over, pushing cups and plates to the floor to make room for himself. He laid on his side so he could look through the book from the same direction as the Hare.

They flipped through the pages, looking at all the Ez detailed images. "Rings would be a nice touch…" Hatter pointed out.

Hare nodded. "And I've practiced the cuff trick. I can try that one again."

"Your mother hasn't seen that one, I guess it'll be alright… you need a big finisher," Hatter said, rotating the book a little more toward him and scanning through the pages quickly. Hare sat back a little, watching Hatter zoom through the book before stopping. "Eureka!"

"My what?" Hare asked in surprise, gazing down at the book.

"This is the one, Hare! Your big finisher." Hatter pointed a finger into the book and tilted it toward him, giving him a good look.

"Oh, Hatter…" he grimaced. "I, uh… I mean…"

"Come on, Hare! It'll be amazing! Can you imagine the look on your mother's face when she sees you pull that trick off!?"

Hare took the book in his hands and looked down at the instructions, scratching his head a little as he read. The trick seemed complicated… and they'd need to build some things in order to do it.

"You sure this belongs in the Ez book?" he muttered to himself.

Gazing up, he saw the excitement in Hatter's eyes and couldn't find it in his heart to disappoint him.

"Okay…" Hare breathed. "What have I got to lose?"

"That's the ticket!" Hatter celebrated, kicking his feet out a little and sending dishware to the ground with a smash.

"The book says we'll need a plant…" Hare rubbed his chin in contemplation. "You think I should pick one from my garden? I have a beautiful bluebell plant that is just about to bloom that might work."

Hatter pursed his lips and leaned back over, looking down at the book again with a furrowed brow. "No, not a plant like a flower! A plant like a helper. Someone in the audience who can help you who knows how the trick works. See?" He pointed to an illustration in the book with a gloved finger.

"Oh, right, I knew that," Hare chuckled nervously, reading the specifications of the type of 'volunteer' he'd need. "I bet I could get Alice to do it."

"She'll probably be around for tonight's tea party. You can talk to her about it then!"

Hare felt a little better about it, he knew he could trust Alice to be able to perform. He'd just have to worry about all the things he needed to do to get the trick to work out right. Flipping to the appendix, he started pulling diagrams and plans out of a hidden compartment in the back of the book, laying them out on the table to read over them. The strumming of the guitar started up again as Hatter began to play.

* * *

"We need to pick up the dry cleaning," Hare said as they got off the Wonderland bus the next day. "I dropped some things off for us earlier this week and I'm sure they're ready by now."

"Oh, well that's nice…" Hatter smiled, holding onto Hare's hand as they walked. "Where else are we going on our little trip into the city?"

"Just the Market. Alice said she'd be by early today to help with practice so we don't really have time to mess around." Hare was looking down at his grocery list in his free hand, making mental notes as they walked.

Hatter pouted, glancing around at all the shops he'd have liked to wander through. He stopped to peer in the window of some thrift shop and looked into it longingly, holding Hare back a little. "But I love messing around…"

Hare laughed and shook his head, pulling Hatter along to the Market. They walked in through the automatic doors and grabbed a shopping cart, pausing a moment by the self-serve Olive bar as Hare flipped through his grocery list.

"Don't forget, we need to get the usual stuff too," Hatter said, leaning on the cart with his feet up on the bar of the bottom basket. He watched Hare start to walk away before calling out. "Hare! Pull me!"

Hare looked up at him, a little annoyed already, but rolled his eyes and returned. "Fine, but only if you pull me later…" he griped, grabbing the front of the shopping cart and tugging it along behind him.

They made their way down the various aisles, grabbing the things they needed and tossing them into the bin. Hatter got caught up in the jam isle, trying to decide if he wanted to get more lemon marmalade or orange rhubarb jam for the table.

"Hare, you should learn to make jams and jellies and things…" Hatter said aloud, taking the orange rhubarb and placing it in the cart. "I bet you'd be good at it."

"I used to make wild berry jam with my Mom from the berries we had in our garden when I was young," Hare shrugged from inside the shopping cart, checking off items from his list. He was laying in the big basket and had his legs scrunched up, his feet hanging over the side as Hatter pushed him. "I can teach you sometime."

Hatter agreed. "That sounds pretty fun! Let's schedule that for three weeks from Wednesday."

"Noted!" Hare said, jotting it down in his calendar.

They continued to shop, making their way to the produce section when a tall white bunny came into view. Hatter and Hare stopped, glanced at each other with wicked grins on their faces, and made their way to him. They snuck up behind him as he was sniffing some carrots, looking very hungry.

"Nice day, Rabbit," Hatter said loudly from Rabbit's right, causing him to jump a little, almost losing his balance on his skates. He had dropped all the veggies he had in his hands though, sending them scattering on the floor. His brow was furrowed as he looked to the source of his freight, his shoulders dropping a little.

"What are you two doing here?" Rabbit said, flustered. He looked like he had already had a very long day and the last thing he wanted to deal with were these two dingle-berries

"Why, shopping of course!" Hare chuckled from the basket of the cart, struggling to pull his body out of it. He flopped around a little, cans and groceries falling in on him and keeping him in place. He eventually gave up and reached his arms out to Hatter, giving a small whimper.

"The Queen busting your balls today, Rabbit?" Hatter asked as he lifted the Hare out of the cart, helping him to his feet.

"No more than usual-" Rabbit started, but stopped himself and shook his head a little. "Why are you two bothering me? Don't you have things to be doing right now? Hare, isn't your mother coming tomorrow?"

"Oh, Rabbit, can't we come say hello to you when we run into you in public?" Hare asked, a goofy smile on his face as he put one hand on his hip, the other on Rabbit's shoulder. Rabbit grimaced and lifted the yellow hand from his body, looking at it like he didn't want to know where it had been.

'It's almost like you're ashamed to know us…" Hatter remarked, shaking his head.

"I'm on a time crunch and I don't have time to mess around. The Queen is expecting a full spread for dinner tonight and she wants me to give her a mani pedi while she watches _The Bachelor_ tonight. And that's on top of everything else I have going on." Rabbit had stooped down and picked up the produce he dropped on the ground, placing them in a hand basket as he spoke. He was picking up an onion and placing it in his basket when Hatter pounced on him.

"What a coincidence! We're on a time crunch too!" He had a bright smile on his face as he wrapped an arm around Rabbit's shoulder, pulling him in close and almost off the ground. "How about we shop together and help each other out? It'll save time and be much more efficient."

"I can help you pick out some produce!" Hare offered, reaching out to the apples with an eager hand. "I'm good at picking out the fresh ones."

Rabbit's face puckered and he shook his head, remembering the last time he'd taken them with him to the grocery store. "No… I believe I can manage. Thank you~."

"Well, don't say we never tried to do anything for ya," Hatter said indignantly, a fake pout on his face.

Rabbit dusted himself off and shook a little, maybe to vent some frustration. "Now, if you don't mind-" he started, only to be stopped by Hatter again.

"So, did you think about the talent show at all? What are you going to do for your act?"

Rabbit put a hand to his temples, just wanting to get along with his day and away from this duo's shenanigans. "I told you already, I am far too busy to participate in something as trivial as a talent show. Unlike the two of you, I must work for a living. And the Queen is a very demanding woman."

"Oh, come on Rabbit! Don't be a spoiled sport." Hatter said, scrunching up his lips in mock disappointment. "Everyone else will be doing an act. You'll be left out if you don't do something."

"Yeah, and my Mom will be there," Hare added. "Wouldn't you like to show off a little for her? Maybe you'll get lucky. She's single..." he jabbed Rabbit in the ribs jokingly, giving him a playful wink.

The Rabbit grimaced and glanced at the Hare with what would almost be described as a look of complete disgust. The last thing he would ever want to do, would be to 'get' with anyone that this thing came out of.

"Even the Caterpillar is participating," Hatter added, looking in the Rabbit's basket and removing the carrots and some other vegetables, putting them back on the shelf unnoticed. "You'll be sorry…"

The Rabbit just wanted to be out of this duo's company "Alright!" he snapped, causing both Hatter and Hare to look at him with alarm. "I'll think about it, are you happy!? My _carrots_! All…" he looked down into his basket, noticing that it was half empty. "My carrots? Where are my carrots? And my celery? And the jicama?" His attention had been taken away from the pair and he was now looking around the produce department for his lost veggies.

"Oh, and now we're being ignored! Real mature, Rabbit! We can take a hint!" Hatter said, waving his hands in the air. "Come on, Hare. We have more shopping to do anyway." He then took hold of the handle of the shopping cart and stood on the bottom basket bar, Hare gripping the front of the cart and pulling him out of the produce department.

It took them five minutes to realize they hadn't gathered any fruits or vegetables and returned to the department, but dashed around to try to stay out of sight of Rabbit. He, of course, knew what they were doing and tried his best to ignore them. It was hard when he passed them with their heads lined up among the pineapples, trying not to be noticed.

When they were done squeezing oranges and sniffing cantaloupes, they made their way to the checkout line. Hare took out his envelope of coupons and had them at the ready when they got to the cashier. Hatter peeked into Hare's wallet and saw that it was mostly filled with photos of the two of them (and one of his mother), a barber shop punch card and his Movie Land Video membership card, as well as a blood donor card that said his blood type was O+. After adding a last minute purchase of two candy bars to their order, they loaded their arms up with their bags and set out on their way to the dry cleaners.

"Were you really insinuating that Rabbit should try to impress your mother while we were talking to him in the store just now?" Hatter asked, munching on his chocolate bar. At the time he hadn't thought it strange, he was in doofus mode and was mostly trying to give Rabbit a hard time, but thinking about it now it left a weird taste in his mouth. And it wasn't the chocolate he was nibbling.

"I was just yanking his chain," Hare shrugged his shoulders, brushing it off. "I mean, it's not like my Mother would be interested anyway. This is Rabbit we're talking about. He isn't really her type."

Hatter considered this and bobbed his head a little in agreement before scarfing down the rest of his candy bar.

* * *

Hare laid in bed later that night, staring at the yellow walls, the Hatter snuggled up against his side as he slept. He knew he'd be up half the night because of his nerves. The past couple days had been relaxing and smooth enough to take the edge off, but he still had that pit in his stomach. Something would go wrong, he knew it. It always did.

He ran through all the plans in his head, calculating what he could do to minimize mistakes. In all honesty, he wasn't worried about the tea party. They had prepared all the tarts and they were in the deep freezer in the basement, waiting to be baked up fresh tomorrow. All the makings of the sandwiches were in the fridge and they'd pick up their order from Just Add Sugar tomorrow on the way to the train station. It was the magic act he was more worried about. He'd only managed to do half the tricks correctly when he and Alice had practiced them and got so nervous that he handcuffed his wrist to his ankle somehow. And the big showstopper he never managed to get right! Oh, why had he agreed with the Hatter to do this?

Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he looked at the round alarm clock next to him on the bedside table, squinting his eyes to read the time. It was late he really needed to sleep.

Wiggling down a little, he burrowed into the covers, causing Hatter to stir a little beside him.

"It's okay, Hare," he mumbled, half asleep as he gave the bunny a squeeze. "We have another jar of pickles in the fridge."

* * *

"Hare, you need to take a seat and try to relax," Hatter remarked, watching his friend pace around the tea table once again. "You look like you dug into the caffeine again."

"My Mother will be here in," Hare paused and looked at his watch, nose twitching. "Two hours, fifteen minutes and 12 seconds. How can I not panic?!"

Hatter rolled his eyes and stirred his morning tea lazily, adding another cube of sugar to it. "Just calm down and breathe, it'll be okay." He was focusing on the tea so much he didn't notice when the Hare took a harmonica out of his pocket and started to breath in and out of it, filling the air with the shrill sound. Hatter watched him silently, a brow cocked, sipping from his teacup.

The Dormouse peeped out of his teapot, tiny hands gripping the rim and head swirling around. "What is that noise?"

"The Hare is having a breakdown," Hatter mentioned casually. "Give him a couple minutes and he'll calm down."

Dormouse blinked and glanced at the Hare, who was still wheezing into the harmonica. "If this is going to be a regular thing, I might have to look for another teapot. If the hills are alive with this sound of music, I don't think I'll be able to stand it."

Hatter nodded. "How true that is," he said as he got to his feet, striding up behind his friend and reaching around to pluck the harmonica out of his hands, tossing it over his shoulder into the bushes. "Don't worry so much. The house is clean, your place is all prepared, and this afternoon's tea party will be a success. Everyone already told us they were going to be here early, so all you have to do is bring your Mom." Leaning forward, he gave his Hare a peck on the cheek.

The Hare sighed, his shoulders dropping a little as he scrunched his face up. He knew he was overreacting but he couldn't help it. "My Mother expects a lot out of me, only the best. I just want to make her proud. And I want her to approve of us."

"And she will," the Hatter patted him on the shoulders, giving them a squeeze before letting them go. "I think you need some camomile tea and a little sit down. Maybe if you're good, I'll let you help me set the table with your cups and saucers for tonight."

"I do love camomile…" Hare managed, taking a seat and grabbing a scone, not fully intending to eat any of it. He had too many butterflies in his stomach and none of them were hungry either.

After managing to get some calming tea in his system, Hatter decided he'd let the Hare help with setting the table. All the gifted tea sets had been washed the night before and were gleaming in their boxes as they were brought out.

"Now to just clear the table," Hatter announced, lifting his arms up to swipe the current settings onto the ground.

"Hatter, no!" Hare threw himself over the tea table, covering the cups and saucers in the process, hearing a few of them crack under his weight.

Hatter dropped his arms at his sides, brow furrowed. "What's the problem now?"

"What would my mother think if she saw you being careless with your things? She'd find it unnecessarily unruly!"

"How true that is," Hatter said, putting a finger to his chin as he considered it. "So, no throwing things. Anything else?"

"Just…" Hare heaved, getting up from the table and dusting himself off. "Try to keep in control. Don't get too crazy. My Mother likes order and discipline. If she sees you acting wild, she might get the wrong idea."

"So, you don't like me acting crazy now?"

Hare stopped suddenly, his eyes growing wide as he realized what it sounded like. "No no no, I love you being crazy! You're my Mad Hatter and I don't want you any other way. I just don't think my Mother will appreciate it as much as I do."

The Hatter tried to look offended but he simply couldn't. He knew the Hare meant well and just wanted to impress. Plus he looked so cute when he was wound up tight as a drum.

"I'll try my best, but I make no promises," he joked, giving his Hare a peck on the lips. "Were you like this when your mother met all your other partners, or am I just lucky?"

"Oh…" Hare's face went red as a nervous laugh slipped from his lips. "She didn't exactly meet too many of them. Not that I've had many."

Hatter smirked and shook his head, not surprised in the slightest about his answer.

* * *

Hare stood on the train station platform, his shoes shined and his suit pressed, holding a bouquet of pansies from his own garden, tied together with a yellow ribbon. He kept bouncing on his toes, a bundle of nerves. Hatter felt that it was a good thing he had decided to come with him to the station, he was pretty sure his pal was going to take off like a rocket if there wasn't someone there holding him down. He was seated on a bench on the platform, a couple pink boxes from Just Add Sugar next to him as well as a box of handmade chocolates. "Hare, why don't you take a seat? The train is only a few minutes late."

"I can't sit, I'm just too nervous!" he squeaked, biting at his thumb as he looked up and down the track. "Remind me again why we're doing this?"

"Because if we're going to take our relationship to the next level I'm going to have to eventually meet your mother. And now is as good a time as any." Hatter reached his long arm and grasped Hare's hand, holding it to try to calm him down a little. It didn't seem to work. "Come and sit."

"I think maybe a year from next July would be a better day," Hare wheezed and moved to dash off the platform when a loud whistle made the pair jump. They turned to see the train pull up to the station, steam streaming from the smokestack. The train pulled in to a stop, pausing and then jolting forward once before the doors flung open. Hare stood there, fidgeting, waiting to see his mother come out of the double doors. When she didn't, he looked at the Hatter with a worried expression and dashed in to search for her.

It didn't take long before they appeared on the landing, June holding the bouquet of flowers in her gloved hands and the Hare dragging her obscenely large amount of luggage behind them.

"How was your trip?" The Hare asked his mother, attempting to lift her bags up onto his shoulder.

"It was marvelous, very relaxing," she crooned in her squeaky voice. June was fussing over him as they walked, adjusting his bow tie and pushing his bangs away from his eyes. "Although the guard kept harassing me for my ticket every stop. He was very rude."

The two approached Hatter and paused, looking up at him expectantly. He had gotten to his feet and met them halfway down the landing, holding the boxes of sugary goodies in his arms.

"Mom, this is the Mad Hatter."

Hatter could definitely see the family resemblance. She looked exactly like the Hare, only with a grey hairdo and lipstick. It was almost off putting.

"June!" Hatter beamed, thrusting a box of chocolate covered carrots in her direction. "So nice to finally meet you!"

June Hare smiled at the Hatter. "Oh, Hatter. Yes, it's lovely to finally meet you too. I've only ever spoken to you over the telephone." She seemed to give him a quick once over, her eyes scanning him for any imperfections in his dress or demeanor. She didn't give any indication that something was wrong, so the Hatter figured he was in the clear. "And thank you for these, I'm sure they're delicious."

"Hare and I made them ourselves," Hatter beamed, looking at his buddy. "From your family recipe, I believe."

The Hare looked like he was on the verge of a breakdown, but he was keeping it together. He kept balling his little hands up, fidgeting with his fingers behind his back. Hatter thought he looked adorable.

"That's very sweet of you," June mused, tucking the box under her arm as the group left the station and walked their way to Hare's house. About halfway there, Hatter took some of June's luggage from his boyfriend to give his arms a break.

June seemed charmed by Hare's little home. She thought the garden was impressive and oohed and awed as they entered the tiny abode. They settled her in Hare's guest room, leaving her bags there as they gave her a tour. Hare thought he'd faint when he saw her do a glove test on the top of some of his bookshelves, but it seemed he had passed her test because she didn't say anything.

About halfway through the tour, Hatter took out his golden pocket watch to check the time. "I should probably get home and get the tea brewing," he whispered to Hare as his mother stepped out of the room.

"Okay…" Hare whined, not wanting to be left alone. He was still a bundle of nerves, constantly afraid his mother would find something out of place for him to fix.

Hatter smiled and gave his hare a kiss on the cheek to calm him a little. "She got here safe, she seems happy with everything… try to relax."

"I'll try," he huffed, managing a weak smile. "I'll bring her over in about an hour."

"I'll see you then," he replied with a wink before speaking out loud. "I'm going to head home and get the tea started, June. I'll see you there in a bit."

"That will be nice," June replied from the next room. They found her in the kitchen standing on a chair, rotating all the cans in the pantry so their labels faced forward.

"Oh no…" Hare moaned. "Mom, stop. Leave those…"


	4. The Tea Party

Hatter made his way to his Hat house quickly, getting all the kettles on the burners in his kitchen before emptying the pink boxes of desserts he had purchased. He had loaded up his arms and made his way through the OUT door when someone made their way through the IN door.

"Mr Hatter? Can I help you with anything?"

"Oh, Alice!" Hatter heaved, seeing her follow him through the OUT door. "Yes, grab some of the sandwiches from the kitchen and bring them out! I'm not used to setting up tea parties without the Hare's help."

Alice nodded and went back through the IN door, leaving the Hatter to empty his arms out onto the table. He tried his best to make the setting look as nice as possible, knowing June would inspect every little thing to make sure it was in order. He was filling the sugar bowls with little cubes in the shapes of carrots when Alice appeared next to him.

"What is Mr Hare's mother like?" Alice asked as she placed little finger sandwiches on pink and purple platters. She looked in surprise as the Dormouse peeked out from around a teacup, eyeing the food she was putting out. Wordlessly, she handed him a cucumber sandwich and he zoomed back to his teapot.

"She looks just like the Hare," Hatter shivered. "Only in a dress."

"No," Alice laughed. "I mean, is she nice? What did she say when you met her?"

"Oh…" Hatter shrugged. "I suppose so." He was more focused on setting the table up right, not too overcrowded but not too empty either. He kept switching teacups and saucers around, ignoring the sounds of the kettles whistling from inside, as well as Alice's inquiries. He also kept swatting the Dormouse away from the food. It seemed the little guy wanted to horde away everything they were setting out.

"Mr Hatter…" Alice looked at him with a confused expression. "Is everything alright? You seem tense."

Hatter shook his head and leaned his lip on the table. "Oh, Alice… Hare's got me all worried about his mother. We have to make sure everything goes well tonight. She expects perfection from him and he's worried about what she'll think. And I can't show him that I'm nervous too because it'll make him more upset."

"Oh, I see…" Alice nodded. "Sometimes my Mom expects things out of me like that too. All you can do is your best. I'm sure she'll love you, everyone does."

"Thank you, Alice," Hatter sighed, tearing himself away to rush into the house, returning with two kettles and filling up the numerous tea pots scattered around the long table. Alice followed along, helping out here and there where she could.

It wasn't long before the other guests started arriving at the party.

First the Tweedles came through the gate, Dum holding a camera and Dee a pad and pencil, both in their editor hats.

"We're covering the party for the Wonderland Bee!" Dum announced. "It's going to be on our front page for tomorrow."

"We already have our headline," Dee nodded. "Meet the Harent! Hare's mother visit's Wonderland!"

Hatter considered this for a few moments, before deciding he'd allow it. "Well… alright. Just make sure you only get my good side," he said, turning to the right, a finger on his chin, and giving them a smarmy smile. The Tweedles looked at each other and blinked, before Dum snapped a photo.

"Who's taking photographs that aren't of me?" came a billowing voice from the gate. The three men turned to see the Queen gracing everyone with her presence, Rabbit following behind holding a bouquet of red roses.

"For the Hare's mother," Rabbit offered, handing the vase to Alice, who put them in a place of prominence on the tea table. The Dormouse had his head out of his teapot, nibbling on a slice of cheese from one of the sandwiches, and gave the flowers a sniff.

"That's very kind of Her Majesty," Hatter commended, a tilt of his cap.

The Queen beamed at the attention and waved her hand in a sense of false modesty, rings sparkling in the sunlight. "Oh, it was nothing," she laughed.

"Literally," Rabbit muttered to Alice. "I'm the one who had to root through the garden to pick them."

The Queen shot him a look and he gave her a nervous smile, fiddling his fingers at his bow tie as he led her to her chair at the table.

"Who else still needs to get here?" Alice asked the Hatter, who kept glancing at the gate for the Hare and his mother. He was getting nervous again, but he was doing his best to hide it.

"Is everyone waiting for me?" the Caterpillar droned as he, somehow, moved his way through the opening in the gate. His legs were working hard, moving his impressive size slowly to the table.

"I think they're waiting for both of usss," came the Cheshire Cat's voice from the tea table. The Cat was pursuing the buffet, eyeing all the snacks, trying to decide which one he was going to eat first.

"Nooo," Hatter furrowed his brow, watching everyone get settled at their places. "We're waiting for the Hare and his mother, thank you very much."

Hatter let everyone get settled, watching as they helped themselves to tea and crumpets. He kept glancing at his pocket watch, then back at the fence, then back at his watch again. The conversation was growing a little, so Hatter took the moment to speak to all his friends before the guests of honor appeared.

Clinking a spoon on a purple tea cup, he called everyone to attention.

"I'd like to thank everyone for coming to this special dinner tea party that the Hare and I are throwing," Hatter started, using his most professional voice. "Before the Hare and his mother show up I'd like to say a couple words."

"Can we start eeeating or do we have to wait for the Harrrrre to come?" came a disembodied voice. Cheshire Cat kept fading in and out so much none of them were sure he had actually stayed or had left for the night.

"Do what you want, Cat," Hatter sighed, not even bothering to look for the source of the voice. "You have no master."

"Darn right!" the Cat said, letting out a cackle before a number of pastries poofed from the platters and into obscurity.

"What is it, Hatter? My tea is getting cold!"

"Sorry your Majesty," the Hatter tapped the brim of his hat nervously, taking a sip from his tea to wet his whistle before continuing. He was already considering opening one of the bottles of wine to calm his nerves and also to get the Queen to take it easy. "The Hare's mother is expecting everything to be very orderly at this party, so we need to keep things under control. So this is going to be different from my usual shindigs. We need to keep things jovial, but not too jovial, not too crazy and certainly not mad. Am I making myself clear?"

"No, actually," the Rabbit shook his head, his ears flopping. "You're telling us to behave ourselves when you're the one who-"

"That's beside the point, Rabbit, hush!" He put a finger out and held it in front of Rabbit's face to shush him. He got to his feet and took a step onto the tabletop, looking down at everyone. "Point is, no throwing china.." he said as he picked up a cup and saucer, "or food at this party" he added, picking up a pastry from a platter. "And certainly no getting up on the table." As he finished, he tossed the cup, saucer and pastry over his shoulder, hearing them clamor as they hit the ground. "You know, table manners are very important things to remember while at a dinner tea party!"

Suddenly, and without warning, the Hatter started tapping his toe on the table and a cane was thrown to him from somewhere stage left. All the Wonderlandians looked at each other and picked up their tea cups, scooting back a little from the table, giving the Hatter room to move. Alice passed both the Dormouse's teapot and the vase of roses to the Caterpillar for safekeeping while the Hatter performed.

Crooning jazz music started and the Hatter flailed his legs around in what might have been an attempt at a tap dancing routine, swinging the cane around wildly and singing about the importance of good table manners. The cups and saucers clanked around as the table shook, though none of them fell to the ground somehow. He walked up and down the lengthy table, dodging platters of food and sweets with nimble feet, none of them being disturbed. He swayed and stumbled around on his toes, causing some of his friends to reach out in fear to try to help him, but he never fell or managed to move a single setting on the tabletop. And, as suddenly as it started (about a minute later), the music stopped, leaving Hatter standing where the roses had originally been, tossing the cane over his shoulder and onto the roof of his Hat house.

There was a cough from the gate and Hare stood there, a look of absolute horror on his mug. Beside him was his mother, dolled up in her best tea dress and gloves, looking at the Hatter with a confused expression. There was a sudden flash from a camera, followed by the chuckles of both Dee and Dum.

"Hare! June!" the Hatter greeted them, taking a bounding leap from the table and striding to the gate, holding it open for his special guests. Alice moved when he bounced off the table, replacing the roses and the Dormouse's teapot in their original positions. "So nice of you both to join us. Welcome to my home!"

"Hatter, what are you doing?" Hare hissed, eyes darting around in anger. "Were you singing and dancing about the importance of table manners again?"

"And doing it while on that table?" June added, giving him a once over again as if her first inspection of him had yielded incorrect results.

"Oh, well…" the Hatter laughed nervously, tapping his top hat as he thought to himself. "Just a party trick, nothing to worry about," was all he managed before Alice swooped in to rescue him.

"Hello, Mrs Hare! My name is Alice, it's lovely to meet you!" she said, giving her best curtsy. Everyone awed and even the Queen was impressed, telling everyone how she had taught her that.

June was, of course, very pleased by Alice's manners and had gotten completely sidetracked. "How kind of you, Alice!" she squealed, balling her hands up together. The girl lead June to the tea table, leaving the Hare to give Hatter a warning glance, muttering about how they hadn't done a song and dance number this whole way through and how it was rude of him to do one without him, before following them to start introductions. They made their way to Hare's usual spot, pulling the chair next to it out for his mother to take a seat. He then took the place on her right, Alice taking the spot on her left.

"Well, now that that's out of the way…" Hatter chuckled nervously, clearing his throat a little as he picked up the kettle to his left. "Who would like a top up?"

Tea was served and the food was passed around the table, everyone filling their plates at least twice. Hare introduced his mother to everyone and she seemed quite taken by all of them. There was a slight glimmer in her eye as she reached a lace glove out to Rabbit, nobody seemed to notice it but him. He gulped and snickered nervously after kissing her hand, resisting the urge to wipe his mouth off in her presence. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get the thought of Hare in a dress out of his mind when he looked at her.

After everyone had eaten a little and the kettles had been taken into the kitchen to be refilled, they decided to open the wine and conversation started.

"Hi, Mrs Hare," Dee said as he shook June's hand, squeezing between her and Hare. "I"m Dee and this is my brother Dum and we're from the Wonderland Bee."

"We'd like to ask you a few questions for the paper," Dum added, after taking a photo of her at the table.

June was completely delighted and looked at her son with eyes that swelled with pride. "How exciting! Of course! Ask me anything you'd like!"

"Great!" Dee smiled, taking out his pad of paper and a pencil, licking the tip as he looked at the Hare while he spoke. "First question: what pet names did you have for the Hare while he was growing up?"

Hare furrowed his brow and he shot the Tweedles an angry glare, while the Hatter leaned in to hear June's answer.

"He had so many! I was always coming up with names for my little Marchie. Let's see..." June's eyes scrunched up as she gazed off, trying to remember. "When he was a baby I called him Bubba Boy, because he'd always laugh when he made bubbles in the bath. Then there was Angel Voice, when he started singing. Have you heard my boy's voice? He always got the solos at the church recitals. And Baby Face because of his pinchable little round cheeks…"

Dee and Dum snickered as they wrote notes down, shooting glances at Hare every so often to see his face getting a deeper shade of red.

He sat through a few more questions, feeling sick to his stomach that his mother was actually answering them. She covered his weird Liberace obsession with when he was six, the time he locked himself in two separate closets in the same day and the time he got lost in the shopping mall and security had to lock the whole place down in order to find him.

"And they found him asleep face down in a planter under a purple fountain grass plant, his little bum in the air," June beamed, looking at her son with complete adoration. Hatter was listening to all of his, his elbow leaning on the table and his chin resting on his hand.

"One more question, June," Dum said, scribbling on his pad. "If you had to make a guess about what the Hare's most embarrassing moment in his life was, what would it be?"

"And if you can't think of just one, you can give us a couple," Dee added quickly, waiting excitedly for the answer, pencil at the ready.

Hare's jaw dropped and his fingers flexed, reaching out to stop his mother from answering. Alice stepped in before he could do anything too embarrassing.

"What was Mr Hare like when he was young, Mrs Hare?" Alice asked politely before taking a bite from a fluffy cream filled pastry.

"Yes, do tell…" Rabbit asked with a snicker. He had already finished his first glass of wine and was more than halfway through his second, so he was looking a little tipsy.

"He was an absolute delight," June grinned, taking a sip from her tea. "You wouldn't want to see pictures, would you?"

"Oh, yes please!" Alice clapped her hands and sat up, excited.

"Oh, Mom, you don't have-" Hare tried, only to be cut off by the Hatter.

"I'd love to see them too!"

Hare covered his eyes as June reached into her purse and took out a small album packed full of photos of a very young Hare. Every yearbook picture, birthday and occasion was documented inside. June removed a number of snapshots and passed them around the group, making Hare cringe. If he could, he would have crawled into the Dormouse's teapot and not come out.

"This one is cute," Hatter remarked, showing Hare a photo of himself with a very round face and glasses that were far too large for him. He had a crooked grin and was sitting in a sandbox next to what must have been a mud pie and had pink bandaids on his knees. He also had a rubber chicken wearing a party hat sitting in the sand next to him. "You were a fan of chickens even then."

"Oh, I love this one!" Hare's mother grinned. "Hare's first bath!"

"Ooh!" Dee reached out, taking the photo from June. "This would be great for the front page! Don't you think so, Dum?"

Dum snorted as the brothers looked at the photo, trying to hide their laughter behind their hands.

"I have an excellent idea!" Hare squealed out at the top of his lungs, nose twitching as he ran around the table and grabbed the photos out of everyone's hand. "Let's change the subject!" Dee held his photo out above his head, making Hare jump for it. He had to climb on the table in order to reach it.

"Your Majesty," Hatter offered as a distraction. "Why don't you tell us all about the, uh… plans for your next fashion show! I'm sure June probably caught your last one on television."

"Oh, yes! Well, ha ha… I didn't plan on doing another fashion line after that last one," the Queen admitted, swirling her wine around in her glass as she spoke. She had been growing tired of all the Hare talk and was desperate to get the attention back to herself. "But once the fashion bug bites you, it's hard not to create."

"I've always disliked bugs," June admitted. "Especially mosquitoes."

"It isn't really a bug, Mrs Hare," Alice explained. "That's just a saying."

"Oh… right," June replied, blushing a little at her ignorance, helping herself to some more tea. "So, your Majesty, has my son been a dutiful subject? Has he been helpful in making the kingdom a more pleasant place?"

"Helpful?" The Queen questioned, giggling a little as she gazed across the table at June. "Oh, he's been a help alright. A helpful pain in my-"

June grinned and looked at her son, reaching out and giving his arm a squeeze before turning back to the Queen. "You know, when I heard that you had saved him from that quicksand, I couldn't stand idly by and let him not fulfill our family duty. I insisted that he stand by your side until he could do a good deed for you as repayment. And it was lucky, because you nearly were swallowed up by quicksand as well. So, in a way, I saved your life that day too."

The Queen stared back at June with a look of total confusion. Maybe the wine was going to her head, but she really didn't know what to say in response to such an outrageous statement.

"And I was thinking," June said, adding a cube of sugar to her tea and stirring it. "For everything that Hare did for you that day, I feel that he should have gotten more recognition. Maybe a plaque or an award or something. Or a proclamation at the very least."

The Queen's eyes looked like they were going to bust from their sockets. The Hare chuckled nervously. "No, your Majesty… Mom, there isn't any need for any of that. It's enough to do a good deed, that's all. I don't need any recognition for it."

"And our Queen thanked you," Rabbit butted in, putting a hand on the Queen's arm to distract her, refilling her glass of wine to the top. "I believe we all sang a song about it, if I remember correctly…"

"All the same, Hare, you did a very noble thing that day and I'm very proud of you."

"Thanks, Mom…" Hare blushed a little, waving her away. "But it was really nothing. Really."

* * *

The tea party continued and the food was gobbled up. After a while, the attendants slowly made their way home. Alice left because she had to get back before her parents noticed she was missing, Caterpillar had to leave because it would take him so long to journey all the way home and Rabbit practically had to carry the Queen away because of all the wine she'd ingested. Dee and Dum were kind enough to offer to help them back to the palace. Nobody knew when the Cat left the party, but he was long gone as well and the sound of snoring could be heard from deep within the purple teapot on the table.

"Well, that was nice," June said from her seat, a smile on her face. The sun had gone down and the courtyard was lit up with little round string lights and lanterns that filled the area with atmosphere. The energy of the night had slowed down and you could hear the sound of the evening off in the distance.

"Yes, it was, wasn't it?" Hatter said, very proud that the party had gone over so well. Everyone had had a good time and nobody had done anything that had caused Hare to pass out from embarrassment.

Hare returned from the Hat house, a pot of coffee and two mugs in his hands. He had managed to sneak away and brew a pot without the Hatter noticing. "Here you go, Mom," he said absently, pouring the brown liquid into a mug with pink flowers on it. He added cream and sugar to it, just the way she liked it, leaving it a caramel color before passing it to her.

"Thank you, son," she smiled, blowing on it before taking a sip. The travel and excitement of the day was starting to show on her and she was looking a little tired.

Hare turned and offered some of the coffee to Hatter, who declined with the wave of a hand, not to much surprise. He was still working on his last kettle of warm tea and wasn't much of a fan of coffee anyway. Hare took a seat between the two of them, pouring himself half a mug of coffee, feeling Hatter's eyes on him the entire time. He was looking a little more calm now, though that might have been because he was getting sleepy from all the stress of the day.

"So, June, we didn't get much of a chance to talk at the train station. Or the tea party for that matter…" Hatter said with a chuckle and soft smile. "How was your trip?"

"It was relaxing," she nodded, ears bouncing a little. "I don't get to travel much, so a lot of it was new to me. Very exciting."

"And what did you think of the party?" Hatter asked as he glanced at her over the rim of his cup as he drank. Hare could see that Hatter was really putting on the charm and it made him smile a little. He wanted to reach a hand out and touch him but decided against it, his mother being right beside them.

"It was lovely. Thank you for going through all the trouble, it was really marvelous. The food, the tea and the company," June kept her posture straight and upright, like she had spent hours of her life on a church bench. She was rather prim and proper, but Hatter couldn't help noticing a little bit of a goofy streak that he saw in Hare often. Or maybe it was because they just reminded him so much of each other. "I can't remember the last time I had this much fun."

"Well, that's nice," he replied as he filled his cup up with the last of the tea from the pot. "And it really wasn't any bother. It was a pleasure being able to throw this party in your honor."

Hare slid a little jar in the Hatter's direction as he took a sip from his coffee. "Honey?" he offered.

"What is it, Darling?" Hatter asked, who was clearly looking down into his tea cup and not paying attention to the Hare's actions.

There was a clatter and a groan and Hare was brushing coffee off his shirt, June tisking. "I meant for your tea, Hatter…" he grumbled through clenched teeth.

"Baking soda will get that out, dear," June said as she hid a smile behind her coffee cup.

"I know, Mom…" he muttered. "I'll be right back."

He left the two of them alone, the soft snoring of the Dormouse filling the vacant space.

"So, Hatter, tell me about yourself…" June said with an interested smile.

His nerves crept up a little but he managed not to show it at all. He had been waiting for this moment for a long time, knowing he'd eventually meet Hare's mother and be left alone with her. As it happened, it really wasn't as bad as he'd thought it would be. Maybe it was the comfortable atmosphere or the wine he'd had earlier in the evening, but he felt quite relaxed.

"Well, I'm a hatter, a tailor, an inventor," Hatter started. "I also part time as a professor, painter, chef, candy maker, amateur dancer, party planner, diagnostician, cave explorer, ghost hunter, private eye, and I work for the department of missing royalty... among other things. I'm multi-talented and like to keep myself busy." He paused and took a sip from his cup before adding, "I think next week I'm going to try being a cowboy."

"My my, you do seem to like to keep busy," June said, not being able to hide her amusement. "Does Hare do all of these things with you or do you work separately?"

"Oh, no, Hare is always helping me with what I do. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have him around to assist me," Hatter said with a chuckle. "We're always working together on projects and jobs and things. I don't think there's a single job that I've done since I met the Hare that he hasn't played some role in. We just can't keep our hands off each other."

There was a clatter as the OUT door bumped against the Hare’s back as he stood at the doorway with a shocked expression on his face. He was wearing a white button down shirt now, his yellow one in his hand, covered in baking soda. The three looked at one another for a moment, Hare with a look of panic on his face and June and Hatter one of slight confusion. Apparently Hare had only caught Hatter's last sentence.

"Is something wrong, son?" June asked. "Did the stain come out alright?"

"Uh…" the Hare looked at them and blinked. "What were you talking about?"

"Work," Hatter said with a shrug. "I think we're going to be cowboys next week, by the way. Think you can pencil that in?"

Hare furrowed his brow and took his pocket calendar out before flipping it open and glancing over their plans. "Should I move working on the time machine till the next week?"

"Oh, no!" Hatter said, aghast. "I'll want to work on the time machine so I can go back to today and live it over again. Better pencil it in for the week after then."

Hare nodded and June took another sip from her coffee cup.

"So, Hatter, what is your family like?" June asked as Hare returned to his seat. He scribbled a note in his calendar and stowed it away again in his jacket pocket as he sat. "Do you speak to your mother often?"

"I do," Hatter replied quickly. "I speak to my mother every second and fourth Wednesday of the month. I don't see my extended family often, but I write to them. And my no-good cousin drops by from time to time."

June looked at Hatter in surprise, her mouth gaping a little, before turning to Hare. "I thought you said that you liked his cousin and that she was very nice to you!"

Hare thought for a moment, blinking, before shaking his head. "No no, Ma. That's his other cousin, Hedda. She's the one who beat all of us at the triathlon. He's talking about his second cousin thrice removed, the Glad Hatter."

"Or as we call him, the Copy-Catter Hatter," Hatter said with a little bit of a glare and a sneer, just the remembrance of his cousin and his evil deeds ruffing his feathers.

"Oh, I see," June relaxed a little, though a little nervous to be hearing about the dubious side of the Hatter family. "And your parents support you and the work that you do?"

Hatter raised his eyebrows and nodded, sipping from his tea lazily. "Yes, they do. They have always supported me in my many fascinations while I was growing up and gave me room to grow and find my way. I really couldn't have asked for anyone better. I think it's important to give them their freedom to find their own way in life and really express themselves in their own way, don't you?"

She smiled and nodded as she leaned back into her chair a little. "Yes, that is important. That reminds me of a time when Hare wanted me to paint all the walls in his bedroom the most awful shade of orange I had ever seen. But he insisted and I wasn't about to tell him otherwise." They could see her remembering the story, little lines squinting under her eyes as she couldn’t stop herself from laughing about it. "Or when I'd have to sleep with earplugs in because Hare would practice his tuba late into the evening. Sometimes you just have to let them find their own way."

Hatter looked at Hare and saw that he was getting uncomfortable with the line of questioning. Hatter didn't see why, but he supposed it was because he was afraid she'd say something embarrassing about him.

"Well, that kind of parenting really brought up a great guy," Hatter said with a smile. "I'm really quite fond of him." Hare felt a foot touch him under the table from Hatter's direction, making him hop out of his seat from the surprise. In an attempt to cover his blushing face, he started to clear the table. This was unusual behavior, it wasn't uncommon for them to leave the dishes out until the next rainstorm would wash them, but it didn't take Hatter long to get the hint.

"Oh!" he overreacted, waving his hands around and jumping to his feet to help pack the dishes and food up. The Hatter raised his arm to shove the table clean of its settings on impulse, only to stop suddenly and make eye contact with Hare, who looked at him with a "you'd better not" look. His face still a little pink from the surprise of Hatter’s roaming feet. 

Hatter sighed enthusiastically and calmly started to clear the table, making sure to stack the dirty dishes neatly and place them in bins to be cleaned. "This would be much quicker if I did this on my own…" he grumped to himself.

Seeing that things were being wrapped up, June got to her feet and started straightening up as well.

"Oh, June, thank you but you really don't have to…" Hatter remarked while Hare also made a move to stop her. "Just take a seat, we have this under control."

"Oh, nonsense. I don't mind helping," June said with a wave of her hand as she started gathering plates and silverware. "You know what they say: Many hands make light work." She loaded up her arms like she had been a waitress in a past life and followed Hare into the Hat house to the kitchen.

The Hatter stood by the table, watching the pair walk away, before glancing over at the Tea Fountain on the other side of the fence. "But… we usually… do the dishes there…" Furrowing his brow a little, he picked up the bin and strode into the house and to the overly crowded kitchen. The small sink was already overloaded and dishes were piling up on the counter and on the kitchen table.

"Hare, why don't we leave-" he started, only to get The Look from Hare. He was standing at the sink, his jacket already off and hung up carefully on a hook, gloves and apron on with his mother beside him turning on the faucet. "Okay…" he stopped. Putting the bin down on the table, he retreated outside to gather up more dishes.

* * *

An hour or so later, all the dishes were clean and dry, sitting out on the countertops and table in neat stacks. June looked very pleased with how nicely everything looked and Hare had a similar proudness about him. Hatter looked like he wanted to push both the bunnies out of his house and lock the doors for making him clean everything tonight.

"Much better," June said, removing her rubber gloves from her hands and setting them over the sink to dry.

"Yes, thank you both so much for your help," Hatter grumbled. He had taken off his jacket and had an apron wrapped around his middle, soap suds splattering him from his stomach down.

"I can't help but notice that some of these are chipped…" June frowned, picking up one and examining it meticulously. It was obviously one from Hatter's collection that got thrown in among the gifted ones Hare had supplied.

Hare grimaced and gave Hatter a worried look, waiting for the inevitable.

"Oh, yes…" Hatter nodded, sitting up and reaching out for the chipped piece of china. "You know, you have parties all the time and accidents happen. Nothing to worry about. This one should be retired to storage."

June's eyes narrowed a little as she gave him the cup. It had seemed that she had accepted his explanation.

"Would you like a tour of the house, Mom?" Hare offered, removing his own apron and putting his blazer back on. "I don't know if you'll have time tomorrow, with the talent show and everything."

"Talent show?" June's eyes brightened, ears perking a little.

"Oh, did I not tell you about that?" Hare asked, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Hatter put together a talent show for you tomorrow night."

"Everyone in Wonderland will be performing for you, June. It's sure to excite and delight," Hatter explained, coming up behind Hare. "Even Hare put together an act for you."

"You did!?" she squealed, reaching out and grabbing her son by the arm, giving him a squeeze. "Oh, I'm so excited!" Hare looked at Hatter with a pained smile on his face, wordless asking him to help.

"Uh, it'll be tomorrow night, so you both can spend the day together and then you'll come here after," Hatter said, stealing in and taking June by the arm to lead her further into the house. "But, for now, let me show you around."

They toured the house from top to bottom and Hare's mother seemed rather impressed. Hare was relieved to see that she didn't make any mention of anything being out of place and was rather enchanted with how eclectic the Hatter's style was. Everywhere was something new or interesting for her to see and she loved it. She also ogled over all the photos that were scattered around the house of the two of them. She found one at the foot of the stairs and put her hand on it, squinting to get a better look.

"I like that one," Hatter said with a smile, taking it down off the wall and handing it to June so she could get a better look. It was of the two of them and one of their inventions, posing with it as if they had invented air conditioning and not a consonant/vowel separator.

"You know…" June said in a hushed voice, so Hare couldn't overhear as he fussed about behind them. "He looks just like his father in this."

Hatter blinked and looked at the photo and then back at June. They still looked like mirror images of one another.

"You don't say…" Hatter grinned.

June pursed her lips and nodded slowly, handing it back to Hatter.

"Would you like a copy?" Hatter offered, only to be cut off by Hare.

"What are you looking at?" he asked suddenly, making them both jump a little, brow furrowing as he looked over his mother's shoulder.

"The Consonant/Vowel separator," Hatter replied. "She was asking how it worked."

"Oh, well not very well," Hare shook his head. "We didn't win a prize at the fair or anything for it."

"But we did get some scrummy funnel cake," Hatter added, making Hare nod in agreement.

"And fried twinkies."

They made their way up the stairs and to the attic, where June stood and just gazed at the array of items that it contained.

"Oh my…" she muttered to herself, gazing at boxes of holiday decorations, hats of various sizes and styles, chipped teapots and broken umbrellas, stopping at the Hatter's worktable to take a gander. There was also a mannequin in the corner that made her feel uncomfortable.

"This is where most of my work happens," Hatter said proudly, patting the battered wooden surface with a gloved hand. "The old workbench."

"It's a wonder you can work up here with all the clutter…" June managed, eyes wide behind her glasses as she browsed. She had her hands balled under her chin, a finger under her lip, and Hatter smiled as he recognized it as something Hare did often. She looked like she was afraid to touch anything for fear that it would bite her.

Hare started to panic a little. The area was clean of dust, sure, but possibly not as organized as it could have been. Hatter had noticed a tear in one of his best gloves earlier that morning and stole away up here to fix it without telling him about it, leaving a small mess at the table by accident.

"Hatter uses a lot of these things in his inventions, Mom," Hare tried to explain, reaching for a helmet with a lamp attached to its top. "He pieces things together to make them new again. He really is a genius."

Hatter blushed and shrugged his shoulders a little. "I think genius might be a strong word…"

"Do all your inventions involve headgear?" June asked, reaching out and adjusting the lamp that was attached to the helmet Hare was holding.

"No, not all of them," Hatter shook his head. "Just the reliable ones."

"Are the others… here?" June asked, looking about the clutter.

"We have a pretzel machine around here somewhere, but it doesn't turn off once it's on," Hare said. "And there's a house key homing device that's supposed to help you not lose your keys, but we can't find it."

"What happened to the invention in the photo downstairs?" June asked curiously. "The Consonant/Vowel separator?"

"We sold it," Hatter shrugged.

"To whom?"

"A man for spare parts," Hare said, shrugging his shoulders a little as he put the lamp helmet back in its home. "We needed the bus money home from the fair."

"We got too many funnel cakes," Hatter explained, patting his stomach. "And fried twinkies."

June's features softened and she smiled, reaching a hand out and patting her son on the shoulder. "All these inventions look amazing, son. You both worked so hard on them, I can tell. And, while they might not look like much, or work all the time, at least you're making the world better with them."

Hatter swore that he might have seen a tear come to the Hare's eye as his chest puffed up with pride at his mother's accolades. And he couldn't wipe the grin off his own face if he tried.

"Thanks, Mom," was all the Hare managed, a shy smile on his face.

"Let's get out of here," Hatter said a little after the moment had passed. "It's a little stuffy in this attic. How about one more mug of tea for the road?"

The trio made their way down the staircase, congregating in the living room at the sofa. Hatter made one last pot of tea and split it up between the three of them. They were all three tired and the tea was putting them in a relaxed mood. It didn't take long for the Hares to decide it was time to head home.

"I think I'll powder my nose before we head home," June whispered to her son.

"Sure, Mom," Hare said, getting to his feet. "First door on your right down the hall. It has a yellow teacup on it."

June nodded and followed his directions, leaving the Hatter and Hare alone for a moment. They stood by the front door, Hare adjusting his jacket, looking like he didn't want to leave.

"Will you need help setting up the stage?" Hare worried, biting his thumb a little, only for Hatter to take his hands in his and give them a squeeze.

"Don't worry about it," Hatter tried to ease his mind. "The Tweedles are coming early to help set up the stage and Alice will spend all day here helping me. Just enjoy your time with your Mother."

"I don't know if I can do that…" Hare wheezed. "I'm still too afraid that she's going to find something wrong."

Hatter tisked and shook his head. "Bunny, you worry too much," he muttered, before stealing a kiss.

Hare blushed and wanted to say more, but his Mother appeared over the Hatter's shoulder. He gave his hand one more squeeze, before letting go. "You ready to go home, Mom?"

"Yes," she nodded. "Is it chilly out?"

It was never chilly in Wonderland, but Hare looked at Hatter and sighed, taking his jacket off and draping it over his mother's shoulders. It engulfed her, but she pulled it closed around her front and smiled.

"I'll see you tomorrow afternoon, June," Hatter said with a grin. "Have a safe trip home."

June lead the way out the front and Hatter tugged Hare back for a second, giving him one last kiss and pat on the bum before pushing him out the door.


	5. Setting Up

Hare woke up the morning after the tea party with a groan. He had slept the night through alright, he had been downright exhausted by the time he finally got himself to bed, but it was a sort of nervous sleep that left him feeling like he hadn't slept at all. He laid on his back, staring up at his own ceiling, trying to muster the energy to get up and start the day. He ran through his plans in his mind, all the places he wanted to take his mom and things he wanted to do. The magic show was a focus and he ran through the tricks, especially the showstopper, trying his best to remember everything.

The noises of clinking and moving around in the kitchen came to his ears. Leaning back into his pillows, he rubbed his face, trying to mentally prepare himself for facing his mother this early in the morning.

Grabbing his glasses and getting to his feet, he went to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth, trying to make himself presentable. He changed into a fresh suit and gave himself one last look over before walking down the hall.

He wasn't entirely prepared for the image that he found in the kitchen, but he wasn't surprised by it either. Turning into the room, he found his mother on her hands and knees, cleaning out the fridge.

"Mom, what are you doing?" Hare rushed forward, hands reaching out to stop his mother. "Get out of there."

June shook her head and smiled, waving a hand at her son as she reached deep into the fridge and pulled out some old yogurt cups she found in the back. "It's no worry, son. I woke up early and thought that I'd help you clean a little."

"You really don't have to…" he muttered. "Mom, I can do this. Stooop."

June huffed a little and looked like she was going to resist him, but gave in and took a seat at the kitchen table. Hare was putting everything back in the fridge when June spoke to him from her seat. "You look like you've gained a little weight, son. Have you been doing the Richard Slimmins tapes I sent you?"

A jar of pickles slipped from his gloved hand and clattered in the fridge, luckily not breaking and making another mess he'd have to clean up. "Uh… no, Mom. I've been kind of busy."

"Oh, well…" she said offhandedly, getting to her feet to put a pot of coffee on. "Might be something you'll want to think about. Your cousin October is still trying to lose that freshman 20 he gained fifteen years ago and you don't want to be in his shoes, do you?"

"No, Mom…" Hare droned, wanting to hit his head against the inside of the fridge while she was out of eye shot. But he composed himself and offered to make her breakfast instead.

The pair decided on cream of wheat and fruit for breakfast and Hare broke out some crumpets that he had been meaning to bring to the Hatter's house for a couple days. They set all the food on the table and were about to tuck in when there came a knock on the door.

Hare left and returned with the day's edition of the Wonderland Bee tucked under his arm. His face was red.

"Who was that, son?" June asked, putting the last of two cubes of sugar in her coffee, stirring it as she looked at him.

"The Tweedles decided to gift us a copy of the paper on their way to the Hatter's," he muttered, taking the seat across from her. He kept the paper tucked under his arm as he settled in, pulling the bowl of blueberries closer to him to put on his cream of wheat.

June looked at him from across the table, watching him not make eye contact with her as he added fruit and nuts to his meal. She sipped at her coffee, watching him put strawberry jam on his crumpet, still not looking at her or showing the paper.

Finally, after what felt like ages, Hare sighed and dropped his head a little, handing the newspaper to his mother wordlessly.

The squeals of delight that emanated from that kitchen were probably heard from two houses away.

On the front page, under the promised headline of "MEET THE HARENT: HARE'S MOTHER VISITS WONDERLAND" was a photo of June and her son, looking rather shocked at Hatter on the tea table, who had his arms out wide to greet them. June read the article aloud and gushed over every detail of it, having to turn the paper around to show him whenever she thought something was particularly cute. They had managed to cram all the juicy details into the article, every tidbit of information his mother had offered them was immortalized in ink on the front page, and also continued on to page six. They even did a small review of Hatter's song and dance routine and omitted the fact that the Queen was so shitfaced when she left she forgot one of her shoes and Rabbit had to come all the way back to retrieve it.

Her hands raced to continue the article, flipping to page six, where she stopped and scrunched the paper up between her fists. Her eyes were brimming with tears of extreme joy and happiness.

Hare looked at his mother with panic on his face, a spoonful of cream of wheat and blueberries hanging out of his mouth as he glanced at her. "What did they do?" he mumbled, reaching across the table and grabbing the paper out of his mother's hands. Frantically, he straightened the pages out and gasped as he saw a picture of himself, aged three months, laying on his stomach, naked. Little bum up in the air. Underneath the picture was a subtitle that read: June Hare bares all in this revealing interview about her son and his childhood.

"Mom… you didn't…" he said, dropping the newspaper as he looked at her. "I was with you the whole night? When did you give another interview!?"

"I think it was when you went to make the coffee…" she said as she took the newspaper back, covering her mouth as she looked at the baby picture again. "Or maybe when you went to help Hatter with something. I don't remember when, entirely, it was a long day. But look! You're in the paper!"

"Every last inch of me…" Hare dropped his arms to his sides and stared his way across the room, a pit of doom consuming him. It wasn't the first time Wonderland had seen him naked. One time Hatter pushed him out the Hat house nude and locked all the doors and windows as a joke, but the only people who saw him were the Tweedles and possibly Rabbit. Now all of Wonderland was going to see his naked body for all eternity. And that was only the photo. He dreaded to read what details she gave in the interview. He didn't even want to know.

His appetite was completely gone at this point and he pushed his plate of food away from himself, drinking some coffee to wash the sour taste from his mouth.

"Oh! They put in the part about the time I had to leave work early and pick you up from school because you got an eraser stuck up your nose and I had to take you to the emergency room."

"I think I'm going to go work in the garden," Hare wheezed, not being able to take it anymore. He needed to meditate and being surrounded by nature and greenery was the only thing that would help.

"Oh, that sounds nice!" June beamed. "I think I'll come with you."

"Sure, Ma, that's fine," he croaked, getting to his feet to grab his gardening gear. "Just leave the newspaper inside, okay?"

* * *

Hatter was laying across the tea table on his stomach, ankles crossed behind him as he read the article in the newspaper, a goofy grin on his face. He had set out a small breakfast spread of Ginger tea, breakfast rolls and the leftover sweets from last night's tea party and he was nibbling on a crumpet, giggling to himself as he read the article. His feet were kicking behind him.

"Thank you for the kind words on my song and dance, though I think "flailing monkey arms" might have been a bit harsh… and you managed to get me from my good side too!" Hatter commented, turning to look at Dee and Dum as they sipped their tea. They had already eaten but Hatter forced them to sit for tea before getting their morning's work done. "June offered you lads a lot of good information as well."

"All we did was ask the right questions," Dee shrugged, a smug smile on his face.

"Just wait till he gets to page six…" Dum said, with a chuckle, earning him a jab in the ribs from his brother.

"For as long as I've known the hare, there are some things I just didn't know about him…" Hatter said with a grin as he laid the newspaper out on the table and lazily flipped the pages to continue the article. His goofy grin grew even wider when he saw the image of the baby with curly hair and brown buns above the interview. "Oh my…" he giggled, taking in the image and all its glory. "Hare doesn't know, does he?"

The Tweedles shook their heads, bumping fists as they took swigs from their tea cups in unison.

"You know," Hatter said after lingering for a moment, pointing to the photo with a long finger. "He still has that birthmark on his cheek there."

Dum and Dee looked at each other and made a face. "I don't think we needed to know that…" Dum muttered.

"I know we didn't," Dee added.

The three chit chatted for a little while, the tall man reading the article in its entirety and savoring every moment of it. He enjoyed it so much he had decided that he was going to have the article framed and put it up on the wall in his attic. "Won't Hare be surprised?" Hatter beamed.

It wasn't long until Alice arrived at the little stone gate. "Hi, everybody!"

"Hello, Alice!" the three men replied in unison, Hatter not glancing up to greet her.

"What are you looking at, mr Hatter?" Alice asked curiously, looking at the paper from above.

"The Tweedles published the article about the tea party last night!" he replied with a smile, showing her. "I made the front page!"

"Oh!" she smiled, gazing over the picture and article. "Mr Hare and his mother are in here too! That's very exciting."

"But wait, there's more!" Hatter shouted, nabbing the paper and flipping through the pages. He folded it over and thrust it in her direction, a smile on his face.

Alice didn't know whether to laugh or cover her eyes when she saw the picture of the Hare. The best she could do was cover her mouth and do a little bit of a double take, causing everyone else to laugh in response. She took a moment and started to chuckle a little to herself, before shaking her head at them. "It's a funny picture and everything, but don't you think this might embarrass mr Hare?" Alice asked, setting the folded newspaper down on the table.

"It's all in good fun," Dum said with a shrug, only now feeling a little bit of guilt build up in his stomach.

"We didn't mean anything by it," Dee added as he crossed his arms over his chest, completely dismissing any sense of blame or remorse. "Besides, June wanted to talk to us. She couldn't stop talking about him, actually. And she did give us the picture to use."

"After all, it's so cute!" Hatter beamed, flipping over onto his back, holding the paper above his head as he looked over it again. "Don't you just want to pinch those cheeks? You know, they're just as much fun to pinch as they look like they'd be."

Alice and the Tweedles exchanged a wordless glance of disgust as they decided they'd had enough of this line of conversation and should probably get down to work.

* * *

Surrounding himself with greenery was just the thing Hare needed to settle his nerves. The second he got his hands in the dirt he could feel the stress melt away. It didn't take long for him to nearly forget about the newspaper, or at least not care as much about it.

June came out to join him before too long, dressed in a simple dress and a large sun hat. She borrowed Hatter's purple apron from the kitchen and a pair of Hare's rain boots so she wouldn't get mud on her nice shoes.

They talked flowers and plants, Hare told her his ideas of what he wanted to do with the garden by the summer and June gave him her input. They pruned and weeded where it was needed and gave everything a good watering. June marveled over the Nosey Poseys and insisted that she take a few to make some pressed flowers when she got home. By late morning they had worked up a bit of a sweat and moved inside for drinks.

"It looks great out there, son," June said, taking her sunhat off and primping herself in the hall mirror as Hare moved his way into the kitchen. "You should be proud of how well everything is doing."

"Thanks, Ma," Hare said appreciatively, washing his hands at the kitchen sink. He had been wearing gloves and his apron, but somehow he still managed to get covered in dirt. Once cleaned, he grabbed a pitcher of lemonade from the fridge and a couple glasses from the cupboard.

"What's this, son?" June asked, carrying a small item into the kitchen from the living room. Hare raised his eyebrows and poured a glass for his mother, offering it to her as she held something into view.

"Oh… that's my Smarty Pants medal," he shrugged. "I got it for being, well… a Smarty Pants. The Queen presented it to me… then took it away… then gave it back."

"When did this happen!?" June asked, flabbergasted that this was news to her. How had he not told her about this?

"I told you about it, Ma, remember?" Hare said, taking a seat at the kitchen table. "I was on the radio and I told you not to call in and you did anyway. I think you asked me something about a Chocolate Cheese recipe."

"Oh, that's right! Silly me, how could I have forgotten." June held the medal in her hand, pride clearly filling her. She looked at it for a long time, shining it up a little with her thumb as she sipped her lemonade. "You are doing so well here, son. Your garden and your house... I'm happy for you. You make me so proud."

Hare forgot to breathe for a second and he felt that he could have cried. This was one of the single happiest moments he could remember. "T-thanks, Mom," was all he could manage.

June gave him a smile and set the medal down, focusing on her son.

"Now that your chores are done, how about we do some mother/son shopping? There are some things I'd like to pick up for you to make your home more, well… homey."

The pride that had filled Hare subsided a little, feeling like this was his mother's way of saying that while she was proud of him, he could also be doing better.

"Sure, Mom. Let's get cleaned up and I'll call a taxi."

* * *

"You think we should break out the pretzel machine?" Hatter asked from his seat on the rock fence, watching Dee and Dum collapse the tea table down to make way for the makeshift stage. He had his feet propped up and he was leaning against a tree, ankles crossed as he supervised the cleanup. The Dormouse's teapot was sitting next to him, though it was empty at the moment. 

"Why would we do that?" Dee asked.

"Oh, I dunno…" Hatter shrugged, taking a bite from a crumpet he was slowly eating his way through. "Hare mentioned it last night when we were in the attic and I had forgotten about it. I think it might be nice for June to see one of our inventions in action."

"Shouldn't you show her one that actually works properly?" Dum asked with a wave of his hand.

"It works well enough…" he replied with a pout.

"Did you ever get it fixed, mr Hatter?" Alice asked from next to Dum, the curtains for the stage in her hands. She was shaking them out of their box and was getting them ready to be hung and steamed.

"No…" he replied. "I think I forgot to do that too. The pretzels taste scrummy, but we just can't turn the machine off till it's empty. I just won't make as much dough this time and it'll be alright."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, Hatter," Dee said loudly, knowing better than anyone that if the Hatter decided he wanted to get that stupid machine out of his attic, the Tweedles would be the ones to carry it down all those stairs. "You'll have to make the dough on top of everything else you need to do, I don't know if you'll have time."

Hatter narrowed his eyes and put a finger to his lips, pondering to himself. "I think I have all the ingredients in my kitchen. It wouldn't be any trouble at all. Plus then I won't have to feed everyone, they can just eat pretzels!"

There was a put-put-put sound and suddenly Alice leaped to the side, a small blur zipping between her feet. The blur zipped around in circles and around the front of the Hat house, hopping onto the stone fence at one side and zooming down the center. Slowly the motor sound died and the blur turned into Dormouse on a small stunt cycle.

"You have a nice ride?" Hatter asked with a smile.

"Oh yes," Dormouse said as he removed his helmet, shaking his head to straighten his ears. "It's running well enough to work for the talent show tonight."

"You're doing a stunt show tonight, Dormouse?" Dum asked in surprise, watching the small creature foot the kickstand down and disembark.

"Will anyone be able to see it?" Dee asked Alice, causing her to giggle behind her hand.

"I've been practicing! I can jump a whole three feet!" the Dormouse said proudly, puffing his chest out.

"I had no idea you were such a little daredevil!" Hatter exclaimed. "Good going, little guy!"

"I should go try my costume on!" Dormouse exclaimed excitedly, scurrying to his teapot and climbing inside, slamming the lid shut behind himself.

"It seems like everybody is doing something for the talent show tonight!" Alice said excitedly, trying to hide the fact that she was a little nervous about the Hare's magic trick. He had really struggled with it at practice the other day and she kept glancing over at the bits and pieces of it that were stored on the side of the Hat house. Her bits went smoothly, but he'd get nervous at one particular point and always mess up.

"The Queen called to let me know that she'd talked Rabbit into performing as well," Hatter said happily, getting to his feet and dusting his bum off.

"Oh, you going to give us a hand with this?" Dum asked, his arms loaded with the last parts of the stage pieces. They had managed to clear away the long table and store it to give them enough room to move.

"Oh…" Hatter furrowed his brow, shaking his head. "No. I've done enough hard labor this week with all the chores I did with the Hare over the past few days. And, besides, I need to save my energy for the show tonight. Not only do I need to supervise, but I have to perform too!"

The Tweedles looked at each other and frowned. "Why am I not surprised?" Dee asked aloud to the sky, shaking his head.

There was a ringing from inside the teapot and everyone looked over just as it stopped. After a moment, a head popped out from under the lid. "Hatter, Hare is on the line. He'd like to talk to you," Dormouse said, holding out a telephone that was no more than an inch and a half long.

"Oh, heh…" Hatter reached for the small phone and laughed once he realized it simply wasn't going to work. "I'll have to pick up the big phone inside." He tapped his hat and rushed through the OUT door, thinking there might be something wrong. Stumbling into the kitchen, he picked up the line. "Hare?"

"Hi, Hatter," came a hushed voice on the line. Hatter could hear that the Hare was using his bedroom phone and trying not to be noticed. "Did you get the stage set up?"

"The Tweedles are setting it up as we speak," he replied, brow cocked in curiosity. "You're supposed to be with your mother. Is everything alright?"

"Oh, yeah, everything is fine…" Hare sighed. It was obvious the poor bunny was being driven crazy and just wanted a couple minutes alone. "Ma and I were going to run out and do some shopping. I wanted to know if you needed me to bring anything back from town for you."

Hatter huffed and rolled his eyes in his most exaggerated fashion. "Hare, you had me all worried there was something wrong. Everything is fine here, you should be with your mother."

There was a long pause, the line going quiet for a little and Hatter could hear muffled speaking. "Hare? Hare?" Hatter tapped a finger on the handset cradle, thinking that maybe the call had dropped. A couple moments later, Hare returned.

"You sure you don't need anything? The taxi is here."

Hatter sighed and smiled, shaking his head. "Enjoy going to town, Hare. I'll see you later tonight."

"Alright…" Hare mumbled, "See you later."

* * *

Hare hung up the phone and pulled his lips into a thin line, letting his hand linger on the earpiece a moment before his mother called from the hallway.

"The taxi is here, son. We'd better get going, the meter is running." She was standing in the doorway and had just completed another costume change, tugging on a red pair of gloves over her slender fingers.

He rubbed his eyes and nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Okay, Mom. I'll be right there." Patting himself down to make sure he had his wallet and his keys, he followed his mother out the front door and to the small yellow taxi.

The sign on the top of the taxi read Wonderland Taxi Transit and there was a tall, thin lizard sitting behind the wheel. Hare held the backseat door open for his mother, allowing her to get in before climbing in on the other side. The inside of the taxi smelled like banana, for one reason or another.

"Where to?" the lizard asked, an unlit cigarette hanging from his mouth. There was a sign on the back of his chair with a non-flattering head shot of their driver with the words "Hi, my name is BILL and I'm your driver today" written below it.

"Uh… the Wonderland Shopping Center, please," Hare muttered. The car paused and sputtered as a winding noise emitted from somewhere within the vehicle. After a few moments, the car jolted backwards and then took off, zooming down the road.

The trip to the Wonderland Shopping Center took longer than expected and the pair were more than glad to depart the small vehicle. The banana smell was getting stuck in their clothing and the car kept stopping because it needed to re-wind itself.

"I think maybe we should take the bus back," Hare muttered as he tucked his chunky wallet back into his jacket pocket. The fare was higher than he'd expected too and he wasn't pleased.

"Let's see how much we purchase before we decide," June said with a smile, rooting through her purse for her hand mirror. She primped herself for a moment, before following her son toward the shops.

The Wonderland Shopping center was the upper scale outdoor mall of Wonderland. It was an open air shopping area filled with nice shops and boutiques, as well as some major chain stores sprinkled in to increase foot traffic. On the first Wednesday of every month there was a farmer's market in the parking lot and Hatter and Hare loved to get kettle corn and look at their organic teas. One time they got their faces painted and Hare broke out in a rash that left him home bound for the better part of a week. The farmer's market wasn't going today, however, and the mother and son were there for some serious shopping.

* * *

The morning turned to the afternoon and the Hare and his mother left the shopping center, many a bag in hand. To the Hare, it felt like they had walked through every shop in the center and he'd waited outside the dressing room in half of them, his mother's purse in his lap. She decided that she needed to get a new dress to mark the occasion of watching her son do a magic show and it took her quite a while to find anything that she liked. And once she found the dress, she needed to find a sweater as well as a matching pair of gloves. He was lucky enough to talk her out of shoe shopping.

They got lunch at a bistro in the food court and continued on their shopping spree, this time June intending to bury her son in essential items his home was lacking. She wanted to get him new pajamas, slippers and a fluffy matching robe, some new coffee mugs and items for his kitchen as well as some premium plant food for some flowers she was starting to worry about in his garden. She also decided that the cleaning supplies she found under his sink were too harsh for his wood flooring and she had some suggestions on a more appropriate option for him.

After their shopping was complete, they decided it would probably be best to just call a taxi again for the ride home and were disappointed to see that Bill reappeared in his wind-up vehicle. They packed their purchases into the trunk of the car and sat through the experience of traveling home. The inside of the vehicle didn't smell like banana this time, there was a kiwi scent now that made the Hare want to eat candy.

Bill never left the drivers seat as the pair unloaded the trunk, Hare paying him before zooming off in a hurry to his next pick up. They moved their bags into the house and started to unpack them, mostly looking for June's new outfit so she could steam it and freshen up before going to the talent show. 

Hare groaned as he saw June pull 15 copies of the Wonderland Bee out of her bag. She had gotten one for herself to scrapbook and the others for her to send to their extended family and her close friends. She made a little bit of a scene at the newsstand when they picked them up, feeling the need to point out to everyone that they were the ones on the front page and her son was the baby on page six. Hare stood beside his mother, holding her purse over his arm, sweating as people looked at him and tried not to laugh.

June passed him the numerous gifts she had gotten for him as she dug through her bags, telling him where she thought the best place to put them was. He rolled his eyes as she gave him the ugly pajamas and robe set, knowing they were going to be stowed away in a drawer somewhere and never used again after she went home.

Before too long, Hare noticed what time it was and urged his mother to start getting ready for the talent show. He set her up in his guest bathroom to get ready and left her to her own devices as he went to get himself ready.

* * *

Hatter stood happily behind the pretzel machine, shining up the little bell that hung off the side of the contraption. He had convinced the Tweedles to retrieve it from the attic and set it up on a small table to the left of the rounded IN door. He chuckled as he rang the little bell, enjoying himself.

"What do you think, mr Hatter?" Alice asked from behind him. He turned to see the stage complete and rows of chairs set up in neat lines. The Tweedles were fanning out the curtain, making sure it was draping well.

"Righty roo, righty roo" he smiled, rubbing his hands together and nodding happily. "Wonderful job everyone. We all worked very hard today."

The Tweedles exchanged a look and shook their heads. They were tired from all the set up and wanted to strangle the tall man with the hat for messing around all day while they worked.

"The only thing we have left to do is set up the refreshment table and get the dough in the pretzel machine and we'll be ready to go."

"What time are people supposed to start coming?" Alice asked, taking a seat on one of the folding chairs, crossing her legs as she spoke to the Hatter.

"Excellent question, Alice…" Hatter said, digging into his pocket and taking out his pocket watch. He clicked it open and stared at it for longer than he probably should have. "A little over an hour. The show starts at 7 on the dot."

"We'd better get home and grab our boombox for our act," Dum said, giving Dee a nudge.

"Yeah, brother, you're right. We'll catch you guys later," Dee replied, leading the way off the stage and through the gate, leaving Alice and Hatter alone.

"Well, what should we do now?" Alice shrugged.

"Hmm…" Hatter thought to himself, face scrunched up. "I could make some tea."

It was as good an idea as any. The pair went inside to have some tea and go over their individual acts for the show that was due to start in under an hour.


	6. Talent Night

Hare stood backstage, his chin tilted up, Hatter's hands tying his cape around his collar. "You need to relax…" Hatter mumbled under his breath. "Everything is going to be just fine."

"How did I let you talk me into this?" he heaved, fingers twitching nervously at his chest. He had been alright all day with his mother, the shopping and monotony of it all making him forget about his nerves. But now that he was here and everyone was bustling around getting ready, a wave of nausea washed over him. He had become so nervous and preoccupied he kept knotting his cape ties and Hatter had to step in to help.

"You're last on the set list, don't worry!" Hatter said, brushing off Hare's shoulders and smoothing out the satin fabric. "Your mother is excited to watch you and you're going to be great. Besides you've never gotten nervous like this before a show before. Don't start this now."

Hare furrowed his brow and huffed a little, making him look like a child who was pouting because his mother wouldn't let him have cookies before dinner. Hatter chuckled and gave his bunny a quick smooch. "Why don't you go check on your mom, show her the pretzel machine? I have a few more things I need to do before the show starts."

"Alright," he grumped, giving the Hatter's hand a squeeze before going to his Mother's side. She was sitting in the front row by the Queen, chatting about something that probably didn't matter.

"Look at my boy!" June exclaimed, cutting the Queen off on whatever she was saying, causing her to "harumph" to herself. "You look just darling in that cape. Oh, I knew I should have brought my camera!"

Hare blushed and bounced his head around a little, rolling his eyes. "Thanks, Mom. Hello, your Majesty. Thank you for coming to our talent show."

"Yes, well," the Queen shook her hand in the air as she spoke. "I had a gap in my schedule today and thought it would be a good idea to spend some time with my subjects. After all, one needs to have a little fun from time to time."

"How true that is, your Majesty," Hare said, clasping his hands together by his chest as he spoke. "Would either of you, perhaps, like a pretzel or a drink before the show begins?"

"Yes, I would, thank you," the Queen cut in quickly, not even waiting for Hare to finish his offer before speaking. "Who knows where that Rabbit ran off to? He was supposed to bring me a drink twenty minutes ago and seems to have disappeared."

"Right away, your Majesty," Hare nodded.

"I'll go with you, son," June said as she got to her feet. "Please excuse me, your Highness."

The Queen dismissed them with a wave of her hand and turned her attention to other matters. She was watching the Tweedles spin around, practicing their routine on the other side of the courtyard and found them more interesting than anything else going on.

The pair walked to the pretzel machine that hadn't been turned on yet and Hare ran through it with his mom. "You put the dough in here, there's a salt meter and a unit that shapes, bakes and cools them so they'll be ready to eat when they come out. And a little bell you can ring when it's done."

"What are the lights for?" June asked, enchanted.

"Those are for fun," Hare smiled. "When you push them, they change colors." He then demonstrated them.

"And how do you turn it on?" she asked, brows raised in intrigue. She held her finger under her lip in a familiar pose as she listened, nodding as she took it all in.

"This knob here," Hare pointed. "But once it's on, you can't turn it off. Somehow we never figured out how to fix that. It'll just keep baking till it runs through the dough and then it'll shut down."

"Do you think…" June paused, feeling a little sheepish and her cheeks going pink. "Do you think I can turn it on?"

Hare smiled widely and guffawed. "Of course!" he hopped excitedly. "You just crank it to the left two turns."

June bit her lip and did as she was told and the machine came to life, mechanisms beeping and lights flashing. It didn't take long for the pretzels to start popping out of the contraption and Hare started piling them into bowls that were spread around the table. She seemed very impressed as she picked up one of the first pretzels, giving it a sniff and then a test nibble.

"This is delicious, son," she commended. "Not too salty, not bland. Excellent flavor. All we need is a fondue pot and this would be perfect."

"Why hadn't I thought of that…" Hare muttered to himself, thinking of his full fondue set sitting at home that hadn't been used in ages.

Suddenly, Alice was next to them, a little bit of a flustered expression on her face.

"What's the matter, Alice?" June asked, her motherly intuition rearing its head.

"Her majesty wants to know what's taking so long to get her some refreshments," she shrugged.

The three looked over at the Queen, who was shooting daggers in their direction, arms crossed over her bosom in frustration. Hare panicked a little, fingers flexing as he rushed to get her Majesty a pretzel and a wine cooler, cape whipping behind him as he ran. June and Alice followed behind, each taking some snacks and tea from the refreshment table, going to their seats casually.

The seats were filling as more of the talent and audience arrived. Caterpillar sat himself to the right of the stage, giving himself perhaps the best view out of everyone and Rabbit appeared with a gym bag which he stored behind the curtain for later. The Cat hovered over the crowd, probably already thinking of some sick burns to throw during the show to entertain himself.

Six o'clock rolled around and the Hatter took center stage, a wide smile across his face as he greeted everyone. He was looking extra spiffed up, his usual purple coat and tails speckled with glittering embellishments that sparkled as he moved.

"Ladies and gentleman, cats and Majestys! Welcome to the talent show!" There was a smattering of applause as people settled into their seats, the chatter dying down. "We have a wide array of acts lined up for you tonight. You'll laugh! You'll cry! You might not even believe your eyes! So sit back and enjoy the show." Another round of applause followed and Hatter waited for the noise to settle before introducing the first act.

"Our first act is the upbeat dance stylings of the Tweedles!" He casually stepped to the side, arm outstretched as the Tweedles came through the part in the curtain.

Dum set their oversized boombox to the side of the stage (volume set to 11) and pressed the play button, racing to center to hit his mark before the music began. They stood back to back, arms crossed over their chests, sunglasses covering their eyes for that cool hip-hop look.

The bass boomed from the speakers and they hopped into action, poppin' and lockin', ducking and weaving around each other. They synchronized their movements to each other and the music perfectly, hitting every beat with a gesture or pose that yelled nothing but hip-hop attitude. At one point they did a little rap battle, bouncing verses back and forth off each other with ease. The audience was mesmerized and feeding into their energy, getting hyped up and sucked into the show. Soon people were clapping to the beat and the Hatter couldn't stop himself from doing some dance moves from his seat just off stage. The Tweedles did some flips and jumps, landing just as the music ended, applause filling the area. They got to their feet and bowed, waving at the cheers as Hatter ushered them offstage.

"Thank you, lads. What a great first act, am I right?" Hatter said as he applauded, a bounce still in his step from the energy he gained from the show. "Really marvelous. Such a hard act to follow. But, someone has to do it! And our next act is a dramatic reading of a new story from none other than our resident storyteller, the Caterpillar."

The Caterpillar scooted his way closer to the stage, setting just off to the right of it. There was no way he was even going to attempt to get up on that tiny stage and nobody expected him to.

"Thank you, thank you…" he said to light applause that preceded him to the stage. His lowest set of hands applauded for himself, his middle hands were holding a book tightly and his top hands were moving in a downward motion, as if to settle a crowd of unruly children. "How am I meant to follow an act like that? Well, I would say, with a story." His middle hands passed the book up to his top ones and he flipped through the pages, going to one marked with a red ribbon. This was apparently his journal that his second pair of hands worked in (his best writing hands, if you'd asked him) and it was filled with all of the stories that he was working through.

"This is a story about a boy named Carl who thought it would be a good idea to go into the haunted house alone…" He read the story aloud, bringing the energy of the room down a spell from the last act. His second and third pair of hands worked with him, pulling items from a bag that was slung over one of his shoulders to act as props or sound effects as he read aloud. He droned out the story but somehow brought it to life and everyone felt like they could almost see the tale run through in their mind's eye. The story had twists and turns and one surprise after another. There was a jump scare almost ¾ of the way through that got a lot of them, Rabbit most of all. He almost hopped into the Queen's lap, causing her to make a little bit of a scene. But the Caterpillar reeled them back in to finish the story with a grim message.

"And, in the end, Carl learned that sometimes you must heed the warnings of others. Because, if you don't, the only friends you'll have are the worms in the ground who will feast upon that's left of your corpse."

The audience didn't know how to react to the story the Caterpillar chose to read to them. It was an enthralling tale, but one that probably would have been better saved for their Halloween Campfire session.

The Cat, however, loved it and howled with laughter as he applauded enthusiastically. "The little sucker got what he deserved, haha!" he boomed, tail swishing around with excitement. Everyone looked at him with confused expressions on their faces as the Caterpillar moved his way back to his original spot, Hatter taking the stage again.

"Ooh, spooky story, right folks?" he said with a nervous laugh. He was thinking that perhaps he should have screened the talent before allowing them to perform, but it was too late for that now. "I especially liked the part where the…" he paused and cleared his throat. "Anyway, thank you Caterpillar. We will keep our eyes open for when your next book is published and I'm sure we'll all be sure to grab ourselves a copy."

"I will be selling autographed anthologies after the show," he said as he settled. "Come and see me if you're interested. Oh, and no personal checks, please," he added with the wave of a finger.

"Righty roo," Hatter said with a chuckle. "Now, on to the next act. This little guy has traveled a long way from my tea table to perform his acts of daredevilry for all of you tonight! So please direct your attention to the center of the stage as I present to you: Danger Dormouse!"

Hatter pulled on a yellow cord that was to the left of the stage and the curtain went up, revealing a miniature driving obstacle course set up on a table. It was just below eye level, so even those in the back row had some sort of view of it. The stage, however, was empty of the small mouse with a motorcycle.

From off in the distance, the put-put-put of his motor could be heard and he zoomed in from under the gate door, coming up the center aisle and up a ramp and onto the stage. He was making great speed but was still visible to everyone as he hopped another ramp onto the table, doing a wheelie as his tires screeched. That earned him a surprised round of applause, most of the audience being quite shocked that the Dormouse had this sort of act in him.

About halfway through the routine, Rabbit got a tap on his shoulder and he jumped to see the Hatter there, tilting his head to the side to indicate that he was up next. Rabbit twiddled his fingers and nodded, getting to his feet and sneaking away to prepare himself without anyone noticing.

They watched the Dormouse weave through traffic cones, do a crossing on a narrow beam from one table to another and he even did a handstand on his little cycle while driving it. Every stunt he managed to land received more applause from the audience. And when he pulled off his final trick, jumping over 8 of the Hatter's tophats side-by-side, you'd have thought he had jumped the entirety of the grand canyon by the way the audience reacted. Dee and Dum were so impressed they gave him a standing ovation, thrusting their fists into the air and hooting as the little mouse stood on the stage beside his bike, bowing to everyone.

"Alright, little guy," Hatter said as he entered the stage, applauding his small friend and housemate. The curtain had been dropped behind him and there was a scuffling sound from behind it, if anyone had paid attention to hear it. "Everyone should watch themselves with this guy on the road, am I right?" That received a little bit of a laugh and the Dormouse climbed back into his bike, kicking the stand up before looking up at Hatter. "You be careful on your drive home, alright? I know you have quite a journey to make." The Dormouse chuckled and turned the motor on, zooming away and around the side of the hat house.

"Now, this next act was a last minute addition to the lineup, so even I'll be surprised by what we're about to experience," Hatter introduced as the put-put-put of the motor died away. "Let's give a round of applause for the Queen's right hand bunny, and one of my favorite furry friends, The White Rabbit."

Rabbit took the stage from behind the curtain in a black unitard, leg warmers on his fuzzy legs, sweatbands on his wrists and no roller blades. He carried a small boombox and placed a cassette tape into it, standing upright as he addressed the audience. "I will now go through a day in the life of Rabbit… through interpretive dance." He bent down and pushed the button marked "play", waiting till an early morning music started before he started bounding around the stage, waving his arms.

Everyone in the audience was completely aghast by what they had to sit through for the next few minutes. They followed Rabbit through his day, watching him mime cleaning and cooking and the various frustrations of his life, all through dance and bunny feet shuffling across the stage. Hare couldn't help but notice that his mother's eyes never left Rabbit once. It made him feel uncomfortable and he felt badly for teasing Rabbit about it at the Market the other day.

After what felt like the longest and most agonizing two minutes of their lives, everyone in the audience applauded weakly as Rabbit stood in the center of the stage, one leg lifted up behind him, his arms above his head, the music coming to an end. Rabbit later said the dance was rather invigorating. Dee said he'd rather poke his eyes out with a pencil than sit through it again. The Cheshire Cat couldn't stop cackling to himself over it, wishing he had recorded it for later viewing.

"Well, that was something, Rabbit…" Hatter said, applauding as he entered from stage right, his guitar hanging from his shoulder. He was dragging a stool behind him as he made his way to center stage. "Thank you for sharing that with us…" Rabbit gave one final bow, his ears brushing the ground, before picking up his boombox and exiting the stage.

"After that last exciting little display of talent," Hatter started as he took a seat on the stool, flipping the guitar around to his front and resting it on his knee. "We're going to slow things down a little with a song that I wrote for the occasion." There was still a buzz in the audience about the strangeness they had just experienced and they were having a little bit of a hard time focusing on the Hatter, but his calm demeanor was drawing them in slightly. Hatter strummed the strings on his guitar lazily as he spoke, warming up his fingers to play his new song.

"As everyone here knows, we have a special guest in the audience tonight: Hare's mother June. Give us a wave there, Junie. Righty roo… righty roo… She was in the paper this morning, I hope you all saw that. And so was Hare, but that's a whole other matter…" he cleared his throat, licking his lips as he plucked the cords. "And, in seeing her with Hare over the past day or two, it's gotten me thinking about my own mother: Mother Hatter. So I decided to write a song to her and I hope you'll all be patient with me as I sing it." He paused and his foot started to tap on the floor gently as he began his song with a slow and loving melody.

This was quite a departure from the wild and crazy Hatter that everyone was used to seeing. He was calm and collected, fingers moving away over the neck of the guitar, singing a sweet song about the love of a son for his mother. Hare gasped a little at the tenderness of it, his breath getting caught in his throat as he listened. This was a song directly from the heart and it was beautiful. Even the Queen had to wipe a tear from her eye because it touched her so. His sweet song filled the dimming evening with a tranquility that was surprising to everyone in the vicinity. Every act up until this point was full of energy and excitement (except perhaps for Rabbit's strange display) and this was just plain different.

The Hatter played his song through, hitting the final cords with perfect rhythm, earning him applause from everyone. Hare saw June dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief she had taken from her purse, her makeup smearing a little under her glasses. He returned his gaze to the Hatter, who looked at him and gave him a wink. God, he loved this man.

Hatter relished in the praise for perhaps a little longer than he should have, before he tugged the stool off stage. "Thank you, thank you, you're all too kind," he said with a wide grin, moving his hands in a downward motion to get them all to settle. "Still two more acts to go, folks. Does anyone need a refill on refreshments? More pretzels, we have plenty? No? Ah, righty ho. Well, you're all taking home the extras because I never want to see another pretzel again as long as I live."

Returning to the center of the stage, he maneuvered his guitar onto his back again, clearing his throat to catch everyone's attention. "Now, for a little something by our very own Alice."

Alice took the stage with a bright smile and flashing green eyes, her hands held behind her back as she addressed the crowd. "I'm afraid that I don't have a big flashy act or anything to share with you all tonight," she said with a little bit of a shrug. "But what I did bring to share are a few of my favorite poems from my world that I would like to share with all of you!"

The audience "oohed" as Alice cleared her throat and began reciting a number of poems she had taken the time to memorize over the past couple days. The poems she had chosen were by Robert Frost, TS Eliot, Emily Dickenson and Shel Silverstein, who were not completely unknown to the Wonderlandians. She never fumbled her words or paused to try to remember the next line she had to say, saying every word calmly as if she were making them up as she went along. The Queen shone with pride at the girl's display, nudging June next to her to say that she had helped her learn the words and practice them the day before. The Caterpillar made a mental note to talk to Alice about the talent who was TS Elliot sometime.

After finishing the last of her memorized works, she gave everyone a bow and stood center stage as Hatter came to join her. "Very nice, Alice! Wonderful job," he said, applauding her happily. "Everyone give her a hand!"

The audience clapped for her as she gave them one last bow, rushing to her seat beside the Tweedles in the back row. She passed Hare as she made her way, taking the time to whisper a "Good luck, mr Hare" and give him a reassuring thumbs up before taking her seat.

Hare smiled and nodded, adjusting his collar on his cape before turning his back to the audience. Normally he wasn't one to get stage fright. But this was a whole different set of circumstances. He was performing for his mother and he lacked confidence in his big finale. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, taking a moment as Hatter wound everyone up.

"Righty roo, everybody!" the Hatter said, a wide grin on his face as he introduced the final act of the night. "Everyone, hold onto your hats! This is the act we've all been waiting for! Well, I know June has, anyway," he said, giving her a playful wink, causing her to giggle from her seat. "I give you, the man of mystery, the illustrious illusionist, the Amazing Hair-raising Hare!"

Hare forced a smile on his face and turned around on his heels, holding his arms out so his cape draped over his form just right. There was a light bit of applause, a boost of it coming from where June was seated.

"Thank you, thank you!" Hare said aloud, trying to make his voice sound as confident as possible. He kept his eyes off of his mother, focusing on the other faces in the audience to put himself at ease. He found he kept eyeing Rabbit, which was obviously making the elderly bunny uncomfortable.

"For my first trick of the evening, I will show you one that may ring a bell!" He chuckled to himself, pulling from behind his back three sets of golden rings. He showed them to the audience, running his hand along the golden bands to prove that it was a continuous piece. After some fancy handwork, the three rings were linked perfectly, Hare tugging on them to show that the rings were still solid. He displayed them to the audience, walking down to the Queen and having her inspect them.

"I know gold rings and, yes, these are solid!" she said with a laugh, clearly impressed. Maybe it was the sparkle of the gold, but her eyes glittered a little.

"But what good are three rings stuck together, am I right?" Hare asked, licking his lips a little before taking two of the rings and rubbing them between his gloved fingers. Pressing hard with his fingertips, he felt the metal slip and pulled them apart with ease. He handed the free one to the Queen, before unlinking the second pair as well. Everyone applauded and Hare felt a boost in confidence as he took the three rings from the Queen, tossing them in his magic box behind the curtain and retrieving his next magical item and tucking it away in his jacket.

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer from the audience! And who better than my own Mother, June Hare!"

June's eyes widened as her son came down from the stage, taking her gloved hand and leading her up onto the platform with him. She stood there nervously, hands balled up and fingers laced in front of her as she watched him closely.

Everyone in the audience grew nervous when they saw Hare take the handcuffs out from his jacket pocket.

"Don't think about it, Hare!" the Queen pouted, making everyone laugh a little, causing the Hare's happy demeanor flicker a little. His eyes looked at his mother, who was beaming so wide you could see all her teeth. He put on a brave face for her.

"Worry not, your Majesty! This trick is foolproof!" Hare gestured his arm out, holding the handcuff aloft in his other hand. "I'm so confident in it, I would risk handcuffing myself to my own mother to prove that it can be done!"

It probably didn't come out the way it had sounded in his head, but his mother didn't seem offended by the statement and everyone in the audience took it as a sign that he was serious. In fact, his mother seemed a little overwhelmed by being pulled on stage. Quickly, he decided he needed to distract her and give her something to do to settle her nerves.

"But first, I will demonstrate that I can remove them from myself. Ma, if you would be so kind…" He gave her the handcuffs and she snapped them around his wrists nervously, fingers shaking a little as she did it. He took hold of her hands and gave them a reassuring squeeze before continuing. "Thank you…"

Holding his hands out in front of him, he tried to tug at the cuffs, showing that they were indeed locked onto his person. "The cuffs are securely fastened… but not for long?"

With the flip of his wrists, he twisted and turned, causing the cuffs to fall right off. Of course, all the Wonderlandians who went through the great handcuff ordeal knew how the trick worked, but Hare's mother was delighted by the trick and clapped her hands enthusiastically. Her hands reached out to inspect the cuffs for herself, eyes wide with wonder.

"As you can see, there's really nothing to it!" Hare said aloud, turning to his mother. "Now, the real test."

Hatter came on stage and assisted Hare in getting the cuffs around his and June's wrists, stepping aside to allow the act to continue.

"As you can see, the handcuffs are on tight," he raised his arm out and tugged against his mother, showing everyone that they were indeed locked and not going to move. "Now, on the count of three, the cuffs will come off as easily as they had been put on."

June watched as her son guided her in her actions without really realizing it, raising and dropping their connected arm as he counted aloud. She lifted her right arm as he counted, and on the count of three he moved his wrist, causing the cuff to rotate around hers, making them fall off easily. The audience applauded as the cuffs fell to the ground with a clatter. It seemed they were impressed that he'd actually managed to get the trick to work this time around.

Again, June clapped enthusiastically, examining her wrist as if it had been removed from her body and reattached again.

Hare ushered her off stage and back to her seat, Hatter standing on stage with a box and some more magic items when he returned.

"And now, some slight of hand!" he reached into the box and took out three small multicolored balls. With nimble hands, Hare tossed the balls up in the air, not missing a beat as the orbs did their dance. He tossed them high and low, over his shoulder and under his leg, adding a fourth ball with ease as the act went along. The audience was impressed by his skill. He was a clumsy hare and people often forgot that he was a master juggler.

"He sure knows how to handle his balls," the Cat said aloud, causing Dee to laugh out boisterously.

He continued to juggle, tossing the balls to audience members and instructing them to toss them back to him when he gave them the signal. Dum might have thrown the ball a little too hard, because Hare had to stumble back in order to get it, almost causing him to trip over his own feet. But he caught himself, adding to the suspense of the trick, a smattering of applause coming from the audience. After a little more of this, getting 5 balls in the air, he caught them all in a box and gave a short bow, mentally preparing himself for the final trick. Everything had gone well up until this point, he was feeling comfortable on stage, his nerves had gone to the back of his mind. It was now or never.

"My final trick for the evening will shock and amaze you!" Hare said, tossing the box of balls backstage and into a crate with the rest of his magic items. "Hatter, bring in… the box!"

The curtains parted behind Hare and Hatter appeared, dragging a large trunk behind himself. Hare moved around to help at the other end, positioning it in the center of the stage. Hatter gave Hare a reassuring pat on the back, before stepping aside.

"What you see before you is a plain, ordinary box!" Hare said, gesturing a hand toward the trunk in a flamboyant fashion. "This trick requires a volunteer. Alice, if you will, please come look at the box to make sure that it is, in fact, ordinary."

She looked at him and nodded, going to the trunk and investigating it. She opened it with the help of the Hatter and looked inside, tapping on the sides and the lid.

"Looks like a plain box to me." She announced.

"Wonderful, wonderful," Hare said, fluttering his fingers mysteriously for effect. "One more, thing. Did you happen to find something -in- the box?"

Alice took a peek in and pulled out a large velvet bag.

Hare's mother applauded joyously, causing Dum to lean over and say to her "I don't think that was the trick…" causing her to stop.

Hare forced a smile and took the bag from Alice, showing it to the crowd. "Now, Alice, inspect the bag for any holes or imperfections, if you please."

Alice came over and glanced over the bag, turning it this way and that and checking the inside before agreeing that the bag hadn't been tampered with.

"Thank you, Alice," Hare said aloud, taking the bag from her and placing it in the bottom of the box. "Now, Alice, stand in the bag!"

She looked at him, shoulders dropped, her jaw slack. "What?"

Hare's eyes widened and he smiled at the audience, hearing them laugh nervously, before turning to Alice. "Get in the box."

She blinked and shook her head a little, before the Hare put a hand out and guided her into the box, positioning her so she was standing in the bag.

"Now, Alice, I'm going to close you in the bag and lay you down in the box. Do not be frightened! You will come out of this, completely unharmed!" He accentuated the last bit by looking at the audience, gesturing an outstretched hand at them as if he were reeling them in, causing them to Ooh and Aah. Dee might have muttered something along the lines of "I hope Alice has health insurance" before being jammed in the ribs by his brother.

Hare helped Alice pull the bag up around her, seeing her give him a wink to signal him that she was okay, before tying the bag shut above her head. Then, with the Hatter's help, they helped her get in a lying position in the box before closing the lid.

"Now, Hatter, the lock please!"

The audience was on the edge of their seats as Hare put a comedicaly large lock on the front of the lid, jangling it around to show that it was, in fact, sealed.

Hatter came from the left side of the stage with a portable curtain on a rod. He switched it around, making it flutter in the wind, before handing one end to the hare. They walked around the box, before Hare stepped atop it.

"Now, don't look away!" he shouted, wiggling his fingers at the audience a little before lifting the curtain in front of him. Hatter stepped aside as the curtain shook and shimmered in the light, obscuring the view of the trunk from the audience. It continued to shake from side to side for a few moments, before falling to the ground, revealing…

Alice standing atop the box, arms outstretched and wearing Hare's cape.

The entire audience gasped as she was revealed, not missing a beat before they erupted into applause. Everyone jumped to their feet and roared, even the Queen had gotten swept up in the moment. They were all so impressed that they forgot to ask where the Hare went.

With Hatter's help, Alice hopped off of the box and took a bow, before taking a step aside and gesturing toward the trunk.

And nothing happened.

Alice had a strained smile on her face and Hatter was starting to look nervous. She gestured back to the box and still, nothing happened.

"Uh… mr Hare?" Alice asked, going to the box and tugging on the large lock, finding that it was still stuck shut. "Uh oh…"

There was a thumping and banging from inside the trunk as the noise died down and people started to get the feeling something had gone wrong. The box shook a little and scooted around as Hatter bowed down next to it.

"Hare? Are you in there?"

"I can't get out!" Hare shouted from inside. "I can't get the thing open."

"Oh dear…" Alice gasped, hand going to her mouth as she bent down beside the Hatter.

Hatter hit against the back of the trunk, finding that the secret door was stuck. He reached for the lock with his giant hands and gave it a yank, straining to pull it off. After struggling for a few moments, the crowd had gathered at the foot of the stage to get a better look at what was going on.

"Where is the key?" Rabbit asked, pointing at the lock. It was the most obvious solution, why hadn't they thought of it already?

Hatter patted his sides down, but he didn't have it, so he bent down and shouted at the box. "Where's the key, Hare?" he asked, holding his ear against the lid of the trunk to listen for an answer.

"It's in my pocket…" came the response.

June looked like she was about ready to either faint or pull the lid off the trunk with her bare hands. To say she was getting frantic was an understatement. "Did he just say they're in his pocket?"

Hatter laughed and shook his head. "No, he couldn't have!"

"He did, Mr Hatter…" Alice said, biting her lip.

"Oh… well, this is quite a pickle here, isn't it?" Hatter said, scrunching up his face and putting a hand to his hip. "Well, only one thing to do." He got to his feet, everyone having their eyes trained on him as he walked in through the IN door and immediately through the OUT door, holding an ax in his gloved hands. The group parted as he stood at the front of the box, lifting the ax above his head and was about to swing down, when…

"I don't think so!" June exclaimed, putting her arm out.

"But, June! How else are we going to get him out of there?" Hatter asked, still holding the axe above his head.

"A mother has her ways…" she said, raising her hands to her head and pulling two hairpins from her updo. Kneeling down at the lock, she straightened the pins and shoved them into the lock, moving them around with expert fingers. They sat for a few minutes, Hare tapping on the lid of the box every minute or so to let him know he hadn't passed out. Eventually he started making casual conversation with those outside the box, asking what the outside world was like and if the price of gasoline had dropped because it was much too high. He also asked if it would be appropriate for him to sing a song when he got out of the box (they told him no) so he started singing a song about being stuck inside it instead.

A few minutes and broken hairpins later, the lock clicked open and fell to the floor.

"She got it!" Dum exclaimed, jumping to his feet in excitement.

"I'll be damned…" Dee added under his breath as June wrenched the lid open.

She found her son scrunched up inside the box, trap door knocked off its hinges on one side, tied up in the sack.

"He did it!" Hatter rejoiced, giving Alice a hug. "He finally got inside the bag this time."

Desperately, Hare clawed at the mouth of the bag, pulling it down over his sheepish face. The view from inside the box was one he didn't think he'd ever forget. All his friends were looking down at him, expressions varied from surprise to anger to trying to hide laughter.

"Ta-da!" he shouted, with a little bit of a nervous laugh. He wanted to climb back into the box and die right at that very moment. Instead, he allowed Hatter and the Tweedles to help him get out of the box and to his feet, dusting himself off as Alice gave him back the red cape. June fussed over him, giving him a once over to make sure he was alright. If you had looked at her while she was picking the lock, you'd have thought she was keeping very calm, but on the inside she was frantic with worry. Now that her son was sitting on the lid of the box, sipping a calming cup of tea, she was starting to relax.

"Where did you learn to do that, mrs Hare?" Alice asked, very impressed with how well she dealt with the situation. And her skill with a pair of hairpins was very intriguing.

"I'm sorry, dear," June said with a friendly smile, once she realized Alice was talking to her. She was watching Hare from a distance now, just making sure he was okay. "What did you say?"

"I was curious about how you knew to pick the lock, mrs Hare," Alice said, taking a seat beside the elder bunny.

June couldn't keep the shy smile from her face. Her cheeks turned a little pink as she bent toward Alice.

"Let me tell you," June whispered to her, patting the child on the knee. "When you have a son who would accidentally lock himself in rooms as often as Hare did, you had to get good at picking locks," adding a playful wink at the end, she held a finger to her lips to tell Alice it was a secret. The girl nodded and returned with a wink of her own.


	7. Going Home

A little while later, after the excitement of the goof up of the final performance, everyone was sitting around eating pretzels and having tea. They had moved a group of chairs up to the stage and were using it as a makeshift table for the time being. Most of their friends had already gone home for the night, but the Queen, Rabbit, Alice and June congregated at the foot of the stage while Hatter and Hare tried to figure out why the magic box had malfunctioned toward the back of it.

"Why didn't you perform in the talent show, your Highness?" June asked curiously, trying to make casual conversation. She had Hare's cape draped over her shoulders to keep her warm and was sipping at a cup of hot tea. "You must be very accomplished, I'm sure you could have shown us quite a show. I hear you're a wild animal trainer! My son told me that you keep a wild woebear as a pet."

"I am not a show pony," the Queen replied, taking a sip from her cup of tea. She had been drinking wine coolers all night but Rabbit suggested she switch to tea a few drinks ago. She wasn't drunk or even tipsy really, just a little more loose lipped than usual. Which could be pretty dangerous when you're already as loudmouthed as the Queen. "I came to be entertained, not to be the entertainment. It was enough that I convinced Rabbit to perform, I shouldn't have to do a song and dance as well."

"She _did_ do a song and dance to order me to perform," Rabbit whispered to Alice, the sweatbands from his act still wrapped around his wrists. "She should have saved it for the show. It would have been much more appreciated with a larger audience."

"And I had no idea you could move like that, mr Rabbit," Alice said politely. "You're a very good dancer."

"Why, thank you, Alice," he grinned, face going a little pink. "My Mumsie did always say I was light on my feet, you know."

"Yes, I couldn't keep my eyes off you," June added, making his face turn a little green. He gave her a friendly smile and scooted his chair away a little.

"Well, heh…" Rabbit chuckled, looking at his watch. "Oh, look at the time. Your highness, I believe it is time that we make our leave. You have a busy schedule to keep tomorrow."

"Yes, and I still have my bubble bath to take tonight…" the Queen said with a grin.

"Well, in that case, it was an honor meeting you, your majesty," June said as the group joined the Queen in getting to her feet.

"I should probably be heading home too," Alice said with a smile beside the Queen and the Rabbit. "It's getting late and I don't want my parents to notice that I'm gone."

"It was lovely meeting you too, Alice. I hope to see you again soon."

Alice nodded in agreement. "Yes, that would be nice mrs Hare. Good night mr Hatter and mr Hare!"

Hatter and Hare turned their attention from the trunk and joined everyone else at the base of the stage.

"Going home so early?" Hatter asked. "I thought we'd maybe squeeze in a game of charades before the night was through."

"Oh, heh, no…" the girl shook her head. "I'm far too tired for something like that. I can come by tomorrow and help you clean up if you want."

"Oh, well that's very kind of you, Alice," he replied, hopping down from the stage and taking a seat. Hare followed suit, although he walked up beside his mother and turned to the Queen.

"Thank you for making the time to see the show, your Majesty," he said appreciatively.

"Yes, well…" the Queen smirked. "It's always a pleasure to be among my subjects. And also to meet new ones." Turning to June, she bestowed upon her the first friendly royal smile that had been offered her entire trip. "Mrs Hare, it was lovely finally meeting you. Maybe the next time you come to Wonderland we'll play a couple rounds of croquet at the Palace?"

Hare made eye contact with his mother and they silently screamed at each other out of pure joy. June took a second to compose herself before nodding her head, ears bouncing. "That would be marvelous, your Majesty. I will eagerly await your invitation to the Palace and will be there with bells on."

The Queen immediately regretted the invitation, but hid it behind her gleaming smile and nodded. "I'm looking forward to it. Come, Rabbit!"

And, with that, she took her leave with Rabbit and Alice trailing behind, each of them carrying an overflowing bag of pretzels in their hands.

All that was left was Hatter, Hare and June, standing at the foot of the stage in the empty courtyard.

"Shall we head inside for a nightcap?" Hatter offered, turning to his bunny compatriots.

"What do you think, Mom?" Hare asked her.

"Yes, that sounds nice," she said happily.

The party moved inside and settled in the living room. Hatter brewed a fresh pot of chamomile and vanilla tea, adding a splash of lemon and spiking it with brandy.

"The perfect hot toddy to end a long day," Hatter said, setting the tea tray down on his coffee table. He pulled a chair across from the Hare's, who were both sitting on the sofa.

"What did you think of the show, Mom?" Hare asked as he added some honey to his tea.

"It was just wonderful!" she exclaimed, leaning back into the plush sofa, cape still draped over her shoulders. "I had no idea all of your friends were so very talented! I was very impressed."

"Anybody stand out to you?" Hatter asked, adding an extra splash of brandy to his cup. "Other than Hare, I mean."

"Well, I actually thought your song was just delightful," June crooned. "It was very sweet and you sang it beautifully. Did you write it yourself?"

"Aww shucks, June..." Hatter's cheeks flushed and he waved her praise away, trying to make light of it. "That's awfully kind of you to say. Yes, I write all my own songs. I had been working on that one for a while and I decided now was the perfect time to perform it."

"It really was very good, Hatter," Hare praised him, taking a sip from his tea. "It was one of your best so far. You should send a recording of it to your mother, I think she'd like to hear it."

"Oh, you do?" It seemed the idea had never come to his mind to send it to her, but he was interested in the prospect. "You don't say…"

"And you're right, Hatter, I was also impressed with my son here. Even with that little goof up, you did a fantastic job with your magic act." June gave her son a pat on the knee, making him grin.

"Thanks, Mom," he blushed, enjoying the acclaim. "If I'm being honest, I was pretty nervous about it. It would have been perfect if the door on that trunk hadn't gotten stuck."

"Well, it wasn't the first time you'd locked yourself in one of those," June said, hiding her smirk behind her cup of tea.

Hare rolled his eyes and looked to the Hatter with an embarrassed expression.

"You really swooped in to the rescue though, June," Hatter added. "I had no idea you were so talented with a hairpin. In a way, you did your own talent act for all of us."

"Oh!" June put a gloved hand to her mouth and chuckled, face turning red. "I guess I did, didn't I?"

"We were all mesmerized," Hatter nodded, really lathering on the charm again.

They enjoyed the company of one another until they drank their way through the pot of tea. The dishes were moved to the kitchen, cleaned and put away and they returned to their places by the sofa to relax a little. The back door to the Hat house was open, letting a fresh breeze in, making the area comfortable.

"What are the plans for the morning?" Hatter asked, tuning his radio in to some music while they lounged.

"I don't think we really spoke about it…" Hare said, glancing at his mother, who shrugged.

"My train to the Hinterlands leaves at noon tomorrow, so that doesn't leave much time to do anything."

"Maybe I'll come by for breakfast in the morning," Hatter offered. "I'll bring some pastries and we'll all go to the station together?"

Hatter was, in a sense, inviting himself on the trip but they didn't seem to mind very much. The three of them felt very comfortable together, which was a little bit of a surprise to the Hare. He had anticipated his mother finding Hatter too outlandish and wild for her son, but she seemed to have accepted him rather well in the short amount of time they had spent together.

"I think that would be very nice," June smiled, her eyelids dropping a little. "Maybe I'll make some biscuits and gravy for breakfast. I know I saw the ingredients in your kitchen, son."

"Ooh, that would be lovely!" Hatter exclaimed, never being one to turn down a homemade meal.

"That's very sweet of you, Mom, but you don't have to…" Hare started, only for his mother to shake her head at him.

"It's no trouble at all. After everything you two have done for me all weekend, it's the least I could do." She smiled at the both of them and Hare could tell that she was getting very sleepy. They'd have to leave soon if they were going to make it all the way to his place before it got too late.

"It's settled then," Hatter said with a smile. "I'll drop by at 9, how is that?"

"Great idea, Hatter," Hare smiled. "We should probably get going, Ma. It's getting late."

June nodded and got to her feet, adjusting the cape on her shoulders again. "I think I'll powder my nose before we go."

She left the boys alone again and Hatter shifted around and took a seat next to Hare on the sofa.

"The magic act was terrible, wasn't it?" Hare asked, taking the Hatter's hand in his own.

"Terrible? No… you were fine," he tried to reassure him, wrapping an arm around the Hare's shoulders. "It made for a more exciting show, with you getting stuck like that. Nobody will forget it."

"The Cat won't let me forget it," Hare said as he rolled his eyes. "I could hear him laughing at me all the way inside the box."

"I'm sure we'll mess something else up in the next few days to make him forget about it," Hatter said with a shrug. "We are pretty good at that."

"We are," he agreed. They sat silently for a little while, listening to the radio play before Hare spoke up again . "Hey, Hatter, I didn't thank you for everything you did for me this week. You really stepped up more than I could have asked for."

"Oh, it was nothing," Hatter said, flashing that charming smile of his. "You would have done the same for me if it were my mother coming to visit. And probably more, come to think of it."

"Yeah, well," Hare laced his fingers with Hatter's and leaned against him a little. "I'd like to repay you, when Ma goes home and things go back to normal."

"I'm sure I can think of something you can do to make it up to me," Hatter said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, elbowing Hare in the ribs. The two giggled to themselves as June returned from the bathroom, trying to suddenly compose themselves in her presence. She grinned at them happily as Hare got to his feet, tugging on his lapels to better his appearance.

"You ready, Ma?"

She nodded and they made their way to the door, Hatter's hand on Hare's shoulder.

"You two travel safe and I'll see you in the morning."

"That sounds good," June replied. "Have a good night."

The pair exited through the IN door and Hatter stood at the doorway until he saw them swing the gate shut behind them and disappear into the distance. With a sigh, he looked at his courtyard. The lack of tea table made the area look strange, he'd have to fix that tomorrow before the afternoon tea party. He walked to the table the pretzel machine was on and picked up the Dormouse's teapot, carrying it inside with him to watch some late night HTV.

* * *

Hare and June made good time getting home. They had arrived by half past ten and were all settled for bed by eleven. Walking down the hall in his newly purchased sleepwear, he knocked on his mother's door before entering.

"Come in," came the reply and he pushed his head in through the crack in the door.

"You comfortable, Mom?"

She grinned seeing that he was in the pajamas she had bought him earlier that day. They were covered in little orange carrots and had a blue trim around the edges. It made him look five years old.

"Oh, yes, this is very nice," she replied from her spot, patting the quilt that was covered in embroidered vegetables. She was in a sleeping gown covered in small flowers and her hair was wrapped in curlers, with a handkerchief over them. "Thank you. Very comfortable. And everything is so spick and span. Nothing out of place."

Hare would have relished in his mother's compliments if his mind wasn't on something else. He spoke as he entered the bedroom and took a seat beside her on the bed. "Mom, what do you think of the Hatter?"

"I must be honest, son, he wasn't quite what I expected," June admitted after some thought. "I always imagined you'd settle down with someone a little more like me. A more domestic type."

 _What would be exciting about that?_ Hare thought to himself, though he didn't dare say it aloud. "We work well together, Mom. We're very compatible."

June smiled and nodded, patting her son on the arm. "I know, son, I can see that. You both really care for each other, don't you?"

Hare couldn't form words but his face said everything.

She nodded knowingly, choosing her next words very carefully. "That's all well and good, but I do have one concern." She paused and took her glasses off, looking at her son with her dark eyes that looked so much like his own. Reaching a hand out, she placed it on her sons and looked at him seriously. "Does he make you happy?"

The Hare's heart stopped beating and he almost forgot to breathe. His mother had never spoken to him like this before. "Yes, Mom. He makes me very happy."

June rubbed her thumb over her son's knuckles and smiled at him. "Then that's most important to me."

"Really, Mom? You mean it?"

June put a hand on her son's cheek and rubbed it with her thumb. "You're my son, my pride and joy, and I only want you to be happy. You've done so well here. So many friends and this lovely little house and garden. You make me very proud. However, I do want to ask for one favor."

"What's that?" Hare asked, unsure if he would want to know the answer.

"If the Hatter is going to walk on the table, can you make sure he removes his shoes first? They left marks on his table cloth and it looked very untidy."

Hare giggled and shook his head, ears flopping around a little. "It was really something, wasn't it? I had quite a time convincing him not to do it all week."

June laughed along with him, putting her glasses back on as she gazed across at her son. "Oh, how I've missed moments like this. Why don't we have some warm milk before bed? Like when you were just a little boy."

"I don't think it would hurt," Hare agreed, getting to his feet and leading his mother to the kitchen. He went to the fridge and grabbed the carton of milk as June went to the cupboard to get a couple mugs.

"We used to do this all the time, do you remember?" June asked, gazing at all the cups and mugs in the cupboard. She picked two she rather liked and set them on the table, watching Hare pour the milk into a deep pot over the stove. "Whenever you couldn't sleep I'd make you some warm milk with cinnamon and we'd read books out loud until you couldn't keep your eyes open anymore."

"I remember one night I had a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep," Hare said, remembering like it was yesterday, stirring the milk with a wooden spoon. "We sat up reading _James and the Giant Carrot_ and drank through a whole quart of milk. I think we probably read more than half of it before we called it a night."

"That was when you had chicken pox, wasn't it?"

Hare stopped and furrowed his brow, thinking to himself. "No… no, I don't think so."

June rested her elbow on the table and thought for a moment. "Something similar must have happened then. You got really sick one night when you had chicken pox and it was touch and go for a little while there. And I remember you were very offended that you thought an actual chicken had gotten you sick. You had me put away all your chicken toys and were too afraid to touch them for months."

Hare laughed at that. "Oh yeah! I forgot about that. What was the name of my favorite chicken again? The orange one. Do you remember?"

"You had so many, I don't think I could remember. You had Cluck Rogers for a long time. And one you named Burrito... Frittata lasted a while."

Hare smiled, thinking of all the chicken toys he'd had over the years. He continued to stir the milk on the stove until it was nice and hot, carrying the pot to the table and pouring it into the two mugs. After replacing the pot on the stove to cool, he took a seat next to his mother and lifted his mug of milk up, only to realize it had a picture of a dancing hot dog on it.

"Mom where'd you get these cups?" Hare asked, looking at the image on the side of the mug and then across to his mothers. Her's had a cow in a unitard with the words "Let's Moooove" on it.

"They were in the cupboard. Why?" June didn't seem to see any problem as she sipped at her mug of milk, deciding that it might need a touch of cinnamon and going directly to the correct pantry to find some.

"Why didn't you use one of the nice ones on the counter?" he asked, gesturing to the full rack of delicately painted mugs and cups sitting in view.

"Oh… well, because I like these ones. They're cute."

Hare was going to say something but stopped, mouth hanging open a little as he processed what she said. He blinked and furrowed his brow, pointing a finger at his cup as he spoke. "You like these?"

"Well, yes. They're very kitschy, aren't they?" she said as she returned to her seat, sprinkling a little cinnamon into her cup and stirring it with a spoon. "They remind me of a set of bowls I had for you when you were a baby. You'd only eat your mashed carrots out of this bowl that had a clown printed on the bottom and you'd eat and eat until you could see his entire face."

He was completely unmoved by her little story, surprised that she actually liked his little tacky things in his pantry. "I thought you'd think they were too… childish."

"Not at all! I mean, they may be a little garish, but they are very fun," June smiled as she looked at her cup, laughing a little before taking another sip from it. "I saw the plates in your cupboard too of the dancing foods. Those are pretty silly too."

 _How could he have been so wrong about his mother?_ Leaning back into his chair, he rested his elbow over the back of the seat, gazing at his Mom across the table. "You don't think they're tacky at all?"

"No, I don't," she replied, brow furrowing a little at how her son was reacting to this news. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"I just…" Hare shrugged, gesturing toward the cups. "I didn't think you'd like them. I had them hidden away because I thought you'd want to use something else."

"Oh…" June looked down at her cup again and chuckled. "You didn't have to go through all the trouble. The pretty ones are very nice, but I like these ones just fine. If they're what you'd rather use then that's what we should use."

Hare scratched his head and reached out, picking up his mug and taking a sip from it. It had cooled a little and he also decided that it needed some cinnamon in it.

"You don't have to change things around for me, son. You know that."

"Well, I know now…" he mumbled behind his mug.

"What other things did you put away? Was there more?" June seemed reinvigorated by this realization that her son had changed things in the house to suit her better. She no longer looked like she was in need of sleep, the milk seemed to have given her a boost of energy.

"Oh, well, not much…" Hare shrugged. "Just some blankets and things. And I hid a lot of my practical joke stuff."

"Why did you think you had to hide all of that from me?" She was starting to look like he had hurt her feelings somehow. Her brows were knitting in the center of her forehead and her shoulders were drooping a little.

"Well, I didn't want to disappoint you, I guess," he replied

"Oh, no, son…" June shook her head, reaching across the table and pushing Hare's bangs away from his eyes in a doting way, like she'd done a million times in his youth. "I'm proud of every little thing you have and do, even when you do mess up."

"Really?" Hare couldn't believe what she was saying. He'd always felt this huge pressure from her, wanting to impress her and make her proud, but he always assumed that meant that he had to be perfect all the time. In both the things he did and what he owned.

"Yes, really. You're my son, the best thing that ever came into my life. And I know I have been harsh and pushed you too hard, but that's because I wanted you to succeed and be happy. And if that means you want to be with a crazy tall man in a big hat and have ridiculous designs on your tableware, that's alright with me."

Hare thought back to all the work he'd done over the past week, worrying about what she'd think about his house and everything contained within it and felt like he had been stressing for nothing. Just like both the Hatter and Caterpillar told him all along.

"Thanks, Mom…" was all Hare could manage, hiding sheepishly behind his mug of now lukewarm milk.

"Now, why don't you show me some of the other things you managed to hide away from me?" June teased.

* * *

It was 9 o'clock on the dot when Hatter arrived on the Hare's doorstep holding a pink box of hot cross buns he'd picked up from Just Add Sugar. He dusted himself off and straightened his cap before knocking on the door.

"It's open!" came a voice from inside.

Hatter pushed the door inward and entered the house, the smell of freshly baked biscuits and sausage hitting him in the face.

"Yum! Smells scrummy in here!" he announced as he walked through the entryway and to the kitchen. He found them by the stove, both wearing aprons and looking bright and cheery. Hare had flour on his face and down his right side, while June looked spotless.

"Thanks!" Hare said, flashing Hatter the first carefree smile he'd seen on his face the whole weekend. "What's in the box?"

"Hot cross buns," Hatter said, placing the pink carton on the table next to the bouquet of pansies Hare had picked from his garden for his mother two days before and joining the pair by the stove.

"They're his favorite," Hare told his mother, who nodded.

Hatter stood over them with his hands clasped behind his back, craning his neck to see what was going on over the stove. He saw a large skillet with sausage crumbles and gravy cooking in it, bubbling away deliciously. "How's everything going over here?"

"You should ask him," June said, giving her son a gentle nudge. "He'll give an honest answer."

"Okay, okay. Here, Hatter, give this a taste…" Hare said, offering a spoonful of the off-white gravy to the Hatter, who smacked his lips at it.

"Mmmm!" His expression brightened and he nodded. "Not bad! Maybe a little more pepper and I think you're good to go."

"That's what I said! Isn't that what I said?" June exclaimed, reaching for the pepper grinder and adding a few generous turns of the knob.

"Yes, Mom, that's what you said…" Hare rolled his eyes and shrugged at his partner.

"How long have you both been up? You have an awful lot of energy for so early in the morning."

"Only about an hour," Hare shrugged, wiping his hands off on his apron.

"We did start the morning off with coffee, that helps!" June added, giving the gravy one final stir before turning the heat off and letting it rest for a few moments, taking the fresh biscuits out of the oven.

"What tea would you like?" Hare whispered to the Hatter after sneaking in a smooch on the cheek.

"Anything you have will do, I'm not picky," Hatter replied with a smile, before Hare rushed to get a kettle on the boil.

The energy in the kitchen was really fantastic and Hatter eventually just had to step back and let the Hare's have the run of it. He took a seat at the table and watched them zoom around like a well oiled machine, never getting in the other's way and always being in the right place at the right time. Even though they hadn't worked together in a kitchen for years, they still knew how to do it.

Looking around, Hatter noticed that all of the fancy dishware had been put away and the settings were all the Kitchen Kabaret set. All the punny mugs were also set out and on display. Hatter caught the Hare's glance for a moment and raised his eyebrows in confusion and surprise, holding up a mug that had a picture of a crustacean on it with the words "Don't Be Crabby, Just Have Coffee" on it. Hare gave him a smile and a wink and that was all he needed to know. He had been right after all.

It didn't take long before the table was set, Earl Grey was poured and everyone had a full plate of biscuits and gravy in front of them. They also had some fresh fruit salad and the hot cross buns to round out the meal.

Hatter really enjoyed the food, going back for seconds as soon as he cleaned his plate. "June this really is delicious," he commended halfway through his second plate. "Hare, why don't you cook meals like this?"

Hare rolled his eyes a little as June smiled at the Hatter. "Thank you, Hatter. I'm glad that you like it. It's one of my best recipes, if I do say so myself."

"Hare, you should ask for this recipe. It's good."

"I have it in the orange books we used the other day, Hatter," Hare replied, munching on some strawberries.

"Oh…" Hatter paused and tore off a piece of a hot cross bun and plopped it into his mouth. "Well, maybe we should keep those books at my place then. Maybe we'll use them more often if they live there now."

"Oh, uh…" Hare looked at his mother nervously. He knew that if the books stayed at the Hatter's they'd get lost in a matter of days. "I think maybe I'll have copies made for you."

"Righty roo!" he exclaimed, taking a sip from his tea.

"Do you stay at the Hatter's house mostly?" June asked curiously.

"Oh, yes," Hare nodded. "There's always a lot going on at the Hat house, so we spend most of our time there. We're always entertaining guests or making things… we don't come to my house very much at all, to be honest."

Hatter flattened his lips and nodded. "I think this is the most time I've spent here in the past two months. We might need to change that though, if it means more home cooked meals like this."

"Hatter, I can cook you more meals at your house," Hare replied, exasperated. "You just need to let me take charge in the kitchen."

"But it's my kitchen!" Hatter shouted, not the least bit angry but actually excited. "My house, my rules."

June hid her mouth behind her hands and chuckled, watching them bicker a little. She found it charming and couldn't help but enjoy the interaction.

"I'm not going to argue over this," Hare said, shaking his head as he started packing up the dishes and moving them to the sink. "You want me to cook for you, you'll have to let me take charge."

Hatter pouted playfully and pointed at him with a gloved finger. "Has he always been like this?"

"March has always been a little on the stubborn side, when he knows what he wants," she said with a wink. "I think sometimes it's best to just give in."

He considered this, so many thoughts running through his mind but none he would say out loud with June in the room.

"I guess I'll have to think about it," he replied.

* * *

The rest of the morning went by quickly and before they knew it, it was 11:30 and time to leave for the train station. Hatter and Hare carried all of June's luggage on the short walk, leaving June's arms free to carry her purse and the pansies the Hare had picked for her. He gave her a fresh bouquet to take and enjoy on the train ride, wrapping the stems in a wet rag and a plastic bag to keep them fresh until she arrived at her destination tomorrow.

The train had just pulled up to the platform by the time they got to the station. For once it was running early, so they had a little bit of time before she'd have to board and be on her way.

"Well, this has been one of the funnest weekends I've had in a very long while," June said, trying to hide the fact that she had started to cry a little on the walk over. The thought of leaving them broke her heart and, while she was excited to see her sister again, she could also do with staying the rest of the week with her son and his friends. She had her handkerchief in her hand and kept dabbing at her eyes and nose.

"I'm glad to hear you say that," Hatter beamed, feeling mostly responsible for the good time she'd had. This probably wasn't true, but it was the honest truth to him. "We'll have to do this again soon, June. Before too much time has passed."

"Oh, yes!" she exclaimed excitedly, clasping her hands together. "We'll spend more time with just the three of us. Maybe we'll have a spa day."

"Ooh, a spa day!?" Hatter boomed, looking at Hare happily. Hare obviously wasn't thrilled with the idea, but forced a smile and nodded.

"Yes, that would be… fun," he managed with a lighthearted chuckle.

"Oh, and son, one more thing before I go," she put a finger to her cheek and she spoke nervously. "I wanted to know if you could possibly give me the Rabbit's number. I think I'd like to call upon him sometime."

Both Hare and Hatter's jaws gaped a little, Hare's face going green. "Oh, no… Mom, I will not do that."

June could only keep the ruse up for so long, before she waved a hand at the two of them and laughed. "I'm only kidding dear. He's much too old for me. I don't know if he knows how to have a little fun."

Hatter and Hare exchanged a glance, not daring to say a word to one another. For a second, Hare thought he was going to faint. Hatter thought he'd be able to tease Hare by calling Rabbit "Papa Rabbit" from now on.

The train whistle blew, making the three of them jump, signaling that the train was ready to begin boarding. It was time to say their goodbyes.

"Now, you take care of my boy, you hear me?" June said as she turned and looked up at Hatter. She had a serious expression on her face but there was a tenderness in her eyes as she shook a finger at him.

Hatter smiled widely and nodded, putting a hand on Hare's shoulder as he spoke. "You don't have a thing to worry about, June. You're leaving him in very capable hands. Why, I'd never forgive myself if something were to happen to the Hare."

June's expression broke and she smiled widely, reaching up with her hands and cupping the Hatter's face. She pulled him down closer to him and kissed either side of his mug, giving him a pat before letting him go. His face was pink as he stood upright, chest puffing with pride. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw Hare wipe a tear from beneath his glasses.

"I will be keeping tabs on you, so don't you get into too much trouble," June added to the Hatter, straightening his jacket a little and giving him an approving smile. "Don't make me come back here and have to mother you."

Hatter beamed and looked up to the sky, cheeks rosy. "Oh, June… you're such a card!"

The whistle blew again and the three exchanged a glance, knowing it was time for her to board the train. Smiling, she reached out and embraced the Hatter, giving him a warm hug. Hatter returned the hug sweetly, patting her back. "It was lovely meeting you June," he said in an oddly serious tone. "I'll take good care of him for you."

She smiled and nodded, a tear running down her cheek which she brushed away hurriedly. "Thank you, Hatter," she managed to mutter, giving him another peck on the cheek and tap on the shoulder before turning to her son.

"I'll help you stow your luggage inside," Hare offered, following his mother onto the train carriage. Hatter stuck behind on the platform and took a seat on the bench, waiting for his friend to return, wanting to give them some privacy in their last moments together.

They made their way to June's compartment and he helped his mother put her luggage away, a short man with a paper hat walking up and asking for her ticket. She gave it to him and he looked it over, nodding at it after a few moments before returning it to her. Once the luggage was put away, the pair stood in the compartment awkwardly, not entirely sure what to say.

"Now, you give me a call when you're settled at Aunt May's, okay Ma?" Hare told her, a touch of concern in his voice.

"I will, son, don't worry," she said, reaching out and straightening his bow-tie one last time. She also pushed his bangs away from his eyes again. "The Hinterlands isn't so far away, I should get there by tomorrow morning."

"Well, still… I'd like to know that you got there safe."

"I promise that I'll call you the moment I get settled there," she reassured him. "Now give your old Ma one last hug for the road, hmm?" She held her arms open to him a little, welcoming his embrace.

Hare nodded and engulfed his mother in one last, long, warm hug. She held onto him and smiled, burrowing her nose in his neck as they held one another. She felt another tear come to her eye and she wiped it away before her son could see. He had been missing from her arms for so long, the thought that she didn't know when they would be in the same room again made her heart hurt. She felt his hand rub her back as she held onto him for longer than she'd probably meant to, pulling away and looking at her son with all the love in the world in her eyes. "I love you, sonny. And I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Mom," Hare cooed, reaching out and wiping some smeared mascara from her cheek with his thumb. "But we'll see each other soon. We won't let this much time pass again, okay?"

She sniffled in spite of herself and nodded, clearing her throat and shaking her head, forcing a strong smile. "Look at me, I'm acting like a child…" she muttered, dabbing her eyes with her handkerchief one final time before composing herself. They looked at each other once more, before the final train whistle blew. "Okay, you'd better go if you don't want to go all the way to the Hinterlands with me."

Hare paused at the compartment door and looked at his mother, a loving smile on his face. "I love you, Mom. Have a safe trip."

"Thank you, son," she said with a short wave.

And, with that, Hare turned away from his mother and made for the exit of the train. He was feeling an odd mixture of emotions. Relief and sadness all rolled up into one. Seeing his mother so emotional was difficult for him, but not something he didn't expect to happen. He was more surprised to find that after the lovely morning they'd had together, he was actually really going to miss his Mom. Composing himself at the train door for a moment, he exited to find Hatter on the bench eating a cupcake.

"Where'd you get that?" he asked, pointing at it.

"Oh, this?" Hatter asked, before taking another bite from it. "Someone gave it to me. Said I had a sweet face that needed to get sweeter."

Hare furrowed his brow and looked around the platform, seeing that the Hatter was completely alone, and yet still decided not to question it further. The tall man devoured the rest of the sweet snicky snack and tossed the paper trash in the bin, before leaving the train station.

* * *

"That wasn't so bad…" The Hatter said as they walked back to the Hat house from the train station. He had his arm draped over the Hare's shoulder, who had his arm around the Hatter's waist as they walked. "We should invite your mother over more often."

Hare rolled his eyes a little, his knees going weak for a moment. "I love my mother, but I don't think I could have taken another day with her. She's just too much work."

"I don't think it was as bad as all that…" Hatter shrugged. "I think maybe you blew things out of proportion a little. She didn't seem nearly as bad as you'd made her out to be."

"Perhaps…" Hare nodded. He knew he was inclined to make a big deal out of nothing when dealing with both good and bad situations. And, in all honesty, she wasn't as bad as he remembered. "I think maybe she's mellowed with her age."

"Why'd you have the sudden change of heart with your stuff? I noticed your cups and plates were back out, so were your pastel blankets."

"She said they were kitschy?" Hare shrugged. "I guess she found a charm in them."

"I suppose you'll enjoy the quiet now that she's gone?" Hatter tilting his head a little, looking down at the Hare with a grin.

"I'm just excited to get things back to normal," Hare said with a wave of his free hand.

"So… wanna go prank call the palace?"

"Do I?" the Hare giggled, ears perking as he raced the Hatter home.


End file.
